Affection: Expressing care and closeness through physical touch and through words such as “I love you” or “I Care about you.” (Romans 16:16. Mark 10:16)
Small moments of affection can communicate to our spouse, ” I value you! I cherish you! I respect you! I love you!”
Is your spouse your “special someone?” If yes, then demonstrate it by having moments of affection. A kiss goodbye in the morning, a kiss goodnight at night, an “I love you touch, holding hands, a pat on the back, an honest.. looking in the eyes, a listening “how was your day?” moment.
If you answered no…to the question: Is your spouse your ‘special someone’? I ask you to do the above! Your spouse will enjoy becoming your special someone!
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Affection
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12)
Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus.
I think about Jesus caring for those around Him while He was here on earth. One of His last acts of affection was towards His mother, as He was about to leave this world from the cross. As He was dying on the cross, it was important for Him to make sure someone would take care of His mother. Consequently, Jesus asked John to do that.
Do you think that we are ever out of the thoughts and affection of our heavenly Father? In Romans 8:38-39 and in Psalm 139:17-18, we have assurances that we are not.
Romans 8:38-39:
For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.
Psalm 139:17-18
How precious to me are your thoughts, [ a ] God!
How vast is the sum of them!
Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand-
when I awake, I am still with you.
God is the best Dad! He lavishes affection upon His children. Won’t you soak in it today, my friend?
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Let’s do: Song of Songs 1:15a, 16a
How beautiful you are my darling! Oh how beautiful!
How handsome you are, my lover! Oh, how charming!
I am pretty sure that if you begin to talk to your husband/wife like this, well let’s just say…life would go well for you! Well, at least you’d have their attention.
If you have never read Song of Songs, I encourage you to do so. Though the wording is extremely poetic, it is proof that God wants our affections for our spouse to be vibrant and blessed!
God has created us to be intimate within the confines of marriage. He has given us our spouse as a gift. Enjoy your present!!! Cultivate trust, love and respect with your spouse, and affection will play a huge part in your marriage.
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with our spouse “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
Affection doesn’t always, just happen. No, affection is purposeful. A kiss hello/goodbye, a gentle touch on the arm in reassurance, a pat on the back, “I’m proud of you”, meeting our spouse’s needs, being selfless, honoring your spouse, laughing together, having “just because” moments, all of these and more build into meeting your spouse’s need for affection.
Do you know what leads your spouse to freely give affection? I am not just talking in the bedroom here, but daily as you live your lives together in the same home. What helps him/her to feel cherished by you? What helps her/him feel special?
Try using the following lists on a date or “talk time” soon with your spouse. Ask your spouse what these keywords bring to mind. Maybe a good idea to write down or record his/her answers for future reference:
| SPECIAL | CHERISHED |
| Secure | Comforted |
| Protected | Honored |
| Enjoyed | Exalted |
| Courted | Respected |
| Intimate | Intimate |
| Affirmed | Secure |
| Led | Happy |