Affection Expressing care and closeness through physical touch and through words such as “I love you” or “I care about you.” (Romans 16:16. Mark 10:16)
Our kids love affection don’t they? Even those teenagers – though they may not admit it! 😉 Many young ones will smother you with sloppy kisses and giggle with glee as you tickle them and kiss their toes. Though you probably wouldn’t treat your middle schoolers or teens the way you do little babies, he/she still needs hugs, pats on the back, and affectionate words of assurance.
Mom and Dad, you have important roles with your kids. Your children need affection from both of you, but let’s look a little deeper into how your role as mom or dad plays out in your son’s and your daughter’s lives.
Your girls need appropriate affection, especially from you, Dad. You are their first love and first example of what they will one day look for in a husband. What would you like your girl to look for in a man? How would you like them to be treated? BE that kind of man and treat those young ladies the way you hope some young man should treat them one day. Dates with them, where you and she talk about her plans, dreams, and aspirations offer a wonderful environment to say and show healthy affection.
Dad, your boys need your affection too! After-all you are their most important example of how they should treat their future wife. They are watching how you treat their mom. Show them how to care for their future wife by teaching them how to be a Godly husband and loving their mom well. These young men still need “pats on the back”, hugs when permitted, and they need to hear how proud you are of them. Say “I love you” to them often.
Mommas, your boys need your example of how to respond to their dad’s displays of affection. They need to know that affection can be shown appropriately in public and have the talks about how affection is given and received regarding sex in marriage. Many guys tend to think they need to be rough and tough all the time, but you can show them how to be tender too by showing affection – as age appropriate.
When they are little boys they need their” boo-boos” and tears kissed away…as middle schoolers they need your hugs and affectionate words, (just maybe not in front of their buddies), as teens they need you to teach them how to treat their girlfriend with respect by sharing with them what you love about their daddy and how their daddy treats you.
Your girls, though they may fight against your affection at times during certain ages, need you so much. Be your daughter’s comforter to show her how to deal with her emotions and engage in becoming a friend as she moves into adulthood. Your daughter will need you to show her how to love herself, love her friends and one day love her family. She learns that by your example. How is your daughter loved by you? Do you include her in your day to day life? She needs you, Mom.
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Affection
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12) Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus.
1 John 4:19 has become my family’s life verse. WE LOVE BECAUSE HE FIRST LOVED US This verse is our family’s life verse because as we have grown closer to the Lord, we have become more like him which overflows to our kids, granddaughter and those around us. We recognize that we couldn’t possibly love LIKE Christ without His first loving us!
All through scripture are words of God’s love to us. They are examples of how we are to love others. The closer our walk with Him – the more we become like Him. The more we become like Him, others see Christ! Isn’t that our goal as believers? Don’t we want our children and children of influence to see Christ in us..living out in the flesh? God wants to use you as His hands, feet, arms, heart and words to love those in your circle of influence. What an honor!
Would you set this devotional aside for a few minutes and search the scriptures for examples of God’s love? Ask Him to show you how He loves you. Would you use this few minutes to not only recall how God has shown love to you in the past, but also to reveal His attitude and affection for you now? Then, please ask Him to show you a few specific people in your life, especially children or children of influence, to whom you can show His love more effectively. He is delighted to show His love to you and through you to others. He is a perfect Father!
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105 Do the Book!
Let’s Do John 13:34-35 and experience the light of His Word. Jesus said that we are to “love one another as He has loved us”. Let’s focus this week primarily on some of the children in our lives.
Let’s not forget that we also have “children of influence” in our lives. “Children of influence” can be kids in our lives that maybe don’t live in our home. Maybe they are children at church or school, who may only have one parent at home or living with guardians. They can be our nieces and nephews, grandchildren, children we sponsor from another country or the kid next door. Did you know you can show them affection too?
Affection will look a little different for “children of influence” compared to your own children. You need to be sure your affection is appropriate to your relationship with your child of influence.
I would like you to remember the word “influence.” That’s YOU! YOU are the influence! God can use you greatly, and He wants you to give affection away! Some of these children may be desperate for affection and need a healthy example of it. Some may never receive affection at home and you can be God’s Light to that child by a pat on the back or an affectionate word such as, “you sure are a great kid!”
Ask God to keep your eyes open to the children of influence in YOUR life! Ask Him to use you and to give you moments to show appropriate affection to them. Be His LIGHT!
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with your children/children of focus: “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
I remember when my boys were at the age of needing to hear about “the birds and the bees.” Their daddy took care of that and I thought I would have no part in it. Then God laid on my heart…”you have a lot to share with your boys.” I have the heart of a girl! I can share with them how I was treated before I met their dad and how their dad treats me now. Affection plays a huge part in the birds and the bees story!
I shared how I was treated by past boyfriends. Unfortunately they were bad examples of a healthy relationship, but God used my past for the good. I was able to share with my boys how those relationships affected me. I was also able to share how God wanted them to treat a girl. I was able to say how I wished I was treated and that it was their job as the man in the relationship to protect that girls purity! I told them that “the girl may not be their wife and they needed to treat her as such.” It was a blessing to share that time with my boys.
I have always been affectionate with my boys, their dad is too. When they were teens they were never embarrassed to stand with their arms around me, even among their peers. . That spoke a lot to my heart! My boys are adults now, and they still give me the biggest hugs when I see them! They still have no problem wrapping their arm around me in a crowd of people. My boys have grown to be affectionate men and, oh, the cards they write me and their dad…bring me to tears with such affectionate words.
I share that with you not to brag on me or my family but as an example of what can be for YOUR family! Friends…show affection on purpose now and one day you will see beautiful rewards and a legacy that is passed on generation to generation! We shared the light of God’s love with each other as husband and wife, then with our children. Now they are loving their spouse and children even better than we did at their stage of marriage and parenting. That, my friend, honors us as their parents!