Approval (Blessing): Building up or affirming another person, particularly for who they are (as opposed to what they do); affirming both the fact and the importance of our relationship with another person. (Ephesians 4:29; Mark 1:11)
When we first get married we have rose-colored glasses on, don’t we? Oh! Our wonderful spouse can do no wrong, they are perfect in our eyes! Then the glasses slowly start to come off, and we notice “things” that we didn’t before, or we ignored before. We may begin to point out those “things” in a not- so-nice way and focus solely on those “things”.
It is far too easy to see the imperfections in our spouse, so it is important to be intentional about seeing the good in each other. After all, our spouse could point out our “things” as well. At least in our experience, most everyone has some “things”. Let’s commit more time to focusing on the positive character qualities of our spouse instead of being critical or judgmental.
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Approval
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12)
Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus.
As a believer, we can and should be thankful that when God looks at us, He has “rose colored” glasses. Oh, He sees us as we are, but we have been given life and forgiveness by grace through faith. He sees us changed and covered by the love and life of His Son, Who measured up in every way to God’s standard, then willingly died for those of us (all of us) who didn’t and couldn’t. If He were to look at us without those “Jesus glasses” He would see nothing but people who fall short and don’t, actually can’t, measure up. .
We can approach the Throne of Grace with confidence because of Jesus! Another very cool thing is ….God so desired to “see” us and look at us, that He gave up His son so He could do so. His son, Jesus took on our sin so we can have a relationship with Him!
We can do Hebrews 4:16 because of this. If you ever feel unworthy, remember, God has His “Jesus glasses” on and there is no one more perfect than Jesus and that is what He sees!!!
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Let’s do: Galatians 5:14 For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.”
Let me ask you a question.
How does it feel if/when your spouse points out – in your presence – negative things about you?
Now, how does it feel when they share the positive things they love about you?
Wouldn’t you prefer the positive? Doesn’t the positive build you up and fill your heart? This is exactly why we need to do Galatians 5:14 with our spouse! They feel the same way!
Should you talk about the not so pleasant things in love to one another? Absolutely, but give grace and let God handle what you cannot handle, or decide together to seek out help when you are stuck.
Treat your spouse exactly as you would want to be treated. Respected. Encouraged. Supported. Approved.
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real
fellowship with your spouse: “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
In the (Intimate Encounters Book) the second chapter looks at the Top 10 Relational Needs that we all have. These are important to know and more specifically what your spouse’s are. We will have a difficult time loving our spouse well without first knowing how they truly feel loved and how they receive love. I also recommend the ( 5 Love Languages ) book.
In the Intimate Encounters book( Pages. 266-268 ) there is a list of 30 Character Qualities.
| Acceptance Cautiousness Compassion Contentment Creativity Decisiveness Deference Dependability Diligence Discernment Endurance Faith Forgiveness Generosity Gentleness | Gratefulness Hospitality Humility Initiative Loyalty Meekness Patience Punctuality Reverence Security Self-control Sincerity Truthfulness Virtue Wisdom |
Does your spouse have any of these character qualities?
Would you share with your spouse what qualities you see in her/him?
Maybe to make it extra meaningful, you can write them down in a card or small notebook and leave it on the kitchen counter for your spouse to find. Title: “What I Love About You!”
Would you feel loved and approved if your spouse did that for you? Why not start the practice of leaving a note or this list of 30 around in different places so your spouse can find it, see what you’ve marked and expressed, and feel loved even more deeply by you? You do love him/her, so why not find ways to make sure he/she knows it!