Comfort (Empathy) Caringly responding to a hurting person through words, actions, emotional responses, and physical touch; hurting with and for others in the midst of their grief or pain. Romans 12:15, Matthew 5:4, 2 Cor.1:3,4
A Worthy Goal: (a little “Truth in Love” from TBI)
Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage and family until your children and friends envy your relationship and want what you have…. “faith expressing itself in love” – Galatians 5:6.
Comfort doesn’t sound like such a spooky concept, but for some it is a frightening. Why? Perhaps because we don’t know how it feels to be comforted. Perhaps we’ve tried to find help for our unresolved pain or guilt and found ourselves in deeper trouble or addicted to stuff – even to people. Let’s take some time this week to talk about Comfort, to discover what it is and how we can meet this need in our spouse. Let’s see if we can help without doing more harm to our spouse or our self.
Have a great week!
Sincerely, Dave Lewis The Basic Idea Helping Leaders Live Loved and Give Love Freely….Starting at Home!
Set aside a few minutes this week or plan a date night to discuss COMFORT. Husband, would you lead this time? Please be prepared to lead by reviewing the questions below. When ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time.
LOVE (SPEAK) Fresh Encounter with Jesus Christ
1. Can you think of a time in the life of Jesus Christ where He gave comfort to a hurting person? There are many such examples from Jesus’ ministry. Please read Matthew 9:5-7. The crippled man received comfort from Jesus on both physical and spiritual levels. What about you? Have you felt “crippled” and “unforgiven”? Would you close your eyes (if it can be safely done) and see yourself as the crippled, unforgiven man and ask Jesus to help you see as He sees…. healed and forgiven? He offers His comfort to you…in His power to heal (your broken heart) and to forgive any and all sin.
Frequent Experiences in the Word (Do The Book)
Let’s Do: Matthew 5:4, 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, Psalm 46:10
2. Do you believe that you are good at knowing what to say in difficult situations (hospital room of a sick friend, around a grieving family, when your spouse or child has had a traumatic experience)? Describe one or two situations where you felt that you did/did not know what to say in awkward situations. Would you list a couple of emotions you felt in those times?
3. Describe a time when you were the one who needed comfort (see definition above). How well did those, who came to give consolation, do at comforting you or saying appropriate, helpful things? Did the fact that they were there attempting to comfort you mean as much or more than what they said or didn’t say? How important is the actual (not virtual) presence of a friend during a crisis or in a painful time of life? Describe a time when a friend was there for you in a painful time.
4. The Bible refers to the Holy Spirit as the “Comforter” and the word means “advocate, one who comes alongside”. When Jesus said to His disciples in Matthew 28: 20 that “I am with you always”, how does He do that and what part does the Holy Spirit play in comforting hurting believers? Have you ever wondered why God commanded us in Psalm 46:10 to “be still and know that He is God”? How might that verse connect with comfort from the Holy Spirit?
Have Real Fellowship with Your Spouse Romans 12:15
5. How available are you to touch or hold your spouse tenderly when comfort is needed? How able are you to listen to your spouse when you see that comfort is the need of the moment? When you know or suspect that your spouse is dealing with some painful situation from work, family, or other relationship, would you ask, “How can I help?” and say, “I care about you and it hurts me to see you hurting.” When might praying aloud with your spouse be a comforting thing to do? How does comforting him/her help you two connect emotionally and spiritually?
Now — What About the Kids? “Ask – Listen – Respond”
1. Regardless of the age of your Child of Focus (your child or other in whom you are investing), praying over or with him/her can provide comfort for all. Are you praying for/with/over your Child of Focus? Will you decide/commit to make progress in this area? Praying silently is fine – especially if the child is sleeping and you’d like for him/her to stay asleep. 🙂
2. When a child needs comfort, good eye contact while listening and gentle/appropriate touch are very helpful for communicating comfort.
Attention—It’s in the Book!!
Matthew 5:4: Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted.
Romans 12:15: Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.
2 Cor. 1:3-4:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.