Attention: Conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care; taking notice of others and making an effort to enter into their respective worlds. (1 Corinthians 12:25 NASB)
The need for attention might seem a little ummm…needy, self- centered. In fact, when I (Linda) discovered one of my top needs was attention I didn’t like it! Haha! I almost felt a little embarrassed to be needing attention from others.
As I dug deeper into what this need really was, I discovered, “Yep! That’s me!” Here is what I discovered.
Having the need for attention does not mean you need to be the center of everyone’s universe, but it does mean that you enjoy those closest to you to enter into your world.
What does it look like to enter into someone’s world that has the need for attention?
For me it means:
When someone…
…cares to do something with me that I really enjoy, even if it’s not their favorite activity.
…allows me to express my thoughts and feelings with them.
….wants to spend time with me.
…takes the time to really listen to me.
See, it is not so much that “all eyes need to be on me”, which was my first reaction to this need, it is more about being cared for deeply, being known, and having it shown by actions.
I hope this helps to understand this need a little more.
Jesus – The Light of the World: (Jesus Meets Our Need For Attention)
Jesus was in the habit of meeting the need for attention when He walked this earth. He met the need for attention with His disciples, those that needed healing, His mother, the wedding guests, His friends Mary, Martha and Lazarus to name a few.
Do you think Jesus meets our need for attention also or was it simply those He could reach out to physically?? Asked this way, do you think He enters your world? Do you think He cares about what is important to you? Are you free to talk with Him about everything and anything? Does He truly know you and want to be known by you? Yes! In fact, God welcomes us with open arms and longs to fill this need for us!
Make it a habit to allow God to meet this need and others for you by sitting with Him regularly. He is your Father and wants nothing more than to reach out to you, His child.
His Word – A lamp and a Light
Let’s do: John 15:12
This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
We are to love our spouse as Jesus loves us.
Will you ask your spouse how you can meet the need for attention in him/her? If we don’t ask, we may think we know but may not. We can’t assume we know how to meet this or any of the relational needs for our spouse. We need to have a conversation. Meeting the needs of others based on how we want that need met is not usually an accurate indicator of success. Guess what? Your spouse is not you!
Spend time with God asking Him how to love your spouse as He loves you. Search scripture and study the great love God has for you so you can become the BEST at loving YOUR spouse!
You And I Are “The Light of the World” – Jesus Said So.
If Jesus is the Light of the world and He tells us we are too, how does that unfold within your marriage?
Let’s look at Matthew 5:14-16
You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven.
Be generous with your life, especially with your spouse! Pay attention to him/her. Invite your spouse into your world and enter into theirs. Discover what makes them “light up” and join them, even if it doesn’t necessarily “light your fire”.
Reflect Christ (Be His Light) to your spouse. (That includes John 15:12)
At times in your marriage especially during conflict, it may be hard to be a reflection of Christ. It is times like these when HIS type of LOVE brings healing.
Let your light shine to your husband/wife.
Invite one another into your spiritual world. Many couples tend to keep this part of their marriage to themselves. You can do a study together or simply begin to share what God is doing within you lately. How important is prayer to your spouse? Join in. How important is exercise, reading, sports, church, serving others, music, shopping, etc to your spouse? Join in where possible.
These suggestions above are great ways to begin meeting the need for attention in your spouse and don’t forget….ask how you can meet this need for him/her.