Security (Peace): Establishing and maintaining harmony in our relationships and providing freedom from fear or threat of harm through expressions of vulnerability, deepening of trust, and the successful resolution of conflict. (Romans 12:16,18)
Building security in your marriage.
If asked, do you think your wife/husband would say they feel secure in the marriage? Do you give them reason to feel secure?
Security looks differently for each individual. Some need financial security, physical security, or spiritual security. Do you know how your spouse feels secure? Maybe it is time to ask?
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Security
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12)
Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus.
Do you have security in the promises of God? Hebrews 6:18-19 tells us there are two unchangeable truths about God’s nature and His promises.
- It is impossible for God to lie. He embodies the truth.
- Because of #1 we can be secure in His promises.
We don’t have to wonder if God will change His mind about our salvation, who we are in Christ or His great love for us. We can’t earn any of these, God gives it freely.
If God is our Heavenly Father, do you believe the verses in Matthew 7:11 to hold true for you today? Can you be secure in His promises? Can you feel secure in His incredible love for you? Can you believe you are 100% worthy of this love? God said so, so yes… you can believe it!
Did Jesus meet the need for security in others? Yes, He did! As you re-read the definition above, think of some of the ways He met that need for security in others. He still meets needs for us today, doesn’t He? Even if others don’t or won’t, He can and will!
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Let’s do:
1 John 4:19We love because He first loved us.
If you want to develop security in your marriage, a good place to start is by learning what helps your spouse feel secure and to show your love by choosing to love him/her daily. When you do, you choose to build security in your marriage daily.
God loved us first…we can choose to love our spouse first. God only asks us to focus on our part in the relationship. Trust Him to work in the heart of your spouse. Keeping the focus on your role allows you to choose to love your spouse unconditionally. Be the best wife/husband for your spouse. The chances for a growing Security in your marriage will be enhanced because of it.
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with our spouse: “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
You can build security in your marriage by putting your spouse above all else, yes even the kids! You may be asking yourself what that looks like in real life! Kids can demand your attention and often we allow that to pull us away from our spouse thinking, “they will understand!” True, they may understand, but over time their security may dwindle in the relationship. They may begin to question, “Does my husband/wife really love me? They don’t make time for me anymore.” Sound familiar??
The way to build security is for your spouse to know that they are #1 in your life, beside God, of course. That means, dating your spouse, kissing your spouse goodbye and hello, flirting with her/him, being on their side in front of the children and others, being their cheerleader, showing them support…etc.
Husband: Be your lady’s spiritual leader. Hold the door open for her. Tell her she is beautiful.
Wife: Tell your man how you love how he cares for your family. Tell him how handsome he is. Kiss him for no reason at all.
Treat your spouse with respect and unconditional love and you will have a secure marriage.
Plan a date or spend time over coffee talking about your idea of how security in your marriage is being developed or diminished. Having some real fellowship with your spouse will help you walk in the light of God’s love and truth!