Affectionate Caring “I care about you!” “I am for you!.”
A Worthy Goal: (a little “Truth in Love” from TBI)
Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage and family until your children and friends envy your relationship and want what you have…. “faith expressing itself in love” – Galatians 5:6.
Rather than an “ancient Chinese martial art”, Caring is the way to show that we are safe, kind, and open to being approached. In other words, we are “for” each other!
For the next 3 installments of the 52-Week Plan, we will be exploring “ingredients of a healthy relationship”. In Chapter 5 of the Intimate Encounters workbook, these 4 ingredients are explained. They are as follows:
1. Affectionate Care
2. Vulnerable Communication
3. Joint Accomplishment 4. Mutual Giving. This week we are examining Affectionate Care. So let’s discover how good we are at demonstrating to our spouse –in no uncertain terms — that “I am FOR you!”
Have a great week!
Sincerely, Dave Lewis
The Basic Idea Helping Leaders Live Loved and Give Love Freely….Starting at Home!
LOVE (SPEAK) Light Source #1: Fresh Encounters with Jesus Christ
Was Jesus caring only toward little children in the first century in Israel? Because Jesus is “the same yesterday, today, and forever”, is it possible that his kindness and caring are extended to you and to me?
Obvious answer: YES!
As you are quiet and still, would you picture Jesus tenderly blessing, touching little children and “allowing them to come to Him”? Would you look in the little group of children and recognize the face of one child in particular? You are a child He loves dearly and welcomes into His presence. Let Him touch your face, give you a bear hug, and draw you close to His heart. Thank Him for caring for you. He does!
Light Source #2: Frequent Experiences in the Word (Do The Book)
Let’s Do: Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Prepare to Do Ephesians 4:32 1. Which of the Ten Relational Needs seem to be the most important ones to you currently?
2. Which of the Ten Relational Needs seem to be the most important ones to your spouse?
3. Are there unresolved areas of hurt in your marriage that are hindering your willingness to help meet the needs in your spouse’s life or that cause you to not accept your spouse’s overtures of affectionate care?
4. What steps could be taken to resolve or diminish the hurt you two have experienced? What steps have you tried before? Perhaps your church or business has connections with marriage mentors or counselors, who could help you resolve issues. TBI has Encourager Couples who are helping others regularly. Maybe all it would take is for each of you to spend time in prayer, then come together to discuss what God told you needs to be done.
5. How important is it to you, your children, and others that you two find a healthy way to heal your hurt and resolve differences? In what ways are you helping your Children or Children of Focus more accurately know the love of God, as you and your spouse show that you are truly “FOR” each other.
Please give each other opportunity to ask, listen, respond with care, and give support as needed and wanted.
Light Source #3: Other Jesus Followers – Have Real Fellowship with Your Spouse
Would you talk with each other about the questions above during a date night or coffee time or just lying in bed? It would be better if you have answered each question thoroughly first.
After your “Marriage Staff Meeting” over coffee, lying in bed, out on a date, did you discover that you were “doing or had done Ephesians 4:32”?
I am sure our Abba Father was blessed by your honoring and actually doing what He told you to do in His letter – the Bible!!
Now — What About the Kids? “Ask – Listen – Respond”
1. Do your children feel love from you on a heart level? Do they guess they are or know they are loved? Do they know you are “for” them and “on their team”?
2. Have you ever sat beside their bed and asked “How is your heart tonight? Asking and listening then responding in a caring way gives your child a chance to know and feel your love.
Praying with them and allowing them to voice their feelings is a great and simple way to start the process.
Affectionate Caring—It’s in the Book!!