Joint Accomplishment “I Need You.” Enemy: Self- Reliance Mutual Giving “I Love You.” Enemy: Selfishness
A Worthy Goal: (a little “Truth in Love” from TBI)
Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage and family until your children and friends envy your relationship and want what you have… “faith expressing itself in love” – Galatians 5:6.
When certain ingredients are missing from a recipe, you notice it with the first bite. If these two relational essentials are missing from your marriage, the marriage may lack the sweetness and flavor God intends. Let’s add (or continue to add) the ingredients of Joint Accomplishment and Mutual Giving to our relationship. We hope you enjoy discussing Joint Accomplishment and Mutual Giving with your spouse this week!
BTW: The title refers to “joint accomplishment” events: grilling out together or having a date night…either way we hope you do “feel the love”!
. Please don’t hesitate to let us know if you have any questions or suggestions for us!
Have a great week!
Sincerely, Dave Lewis The Basic Idea Helping Leaders Live Loved and Give Love Freely….Starting at Home!
Set aside a few minutes this week or plan a date night to discuss JOINT ACCOMPLISHMENTS AND MUTUAL GIVING.
Husband, would you lead this time? Please be prepared to lead by reviewing the questions below. When ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time.
LOVE (SPEAK) Light Source #1: Fresh Encounters with Jesus Christ
When Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead (John 11), did you ever notice that He included others to help Him with the miracle? Jesus still does miracles today. Carol and I see them regularly…in our own life as well as in others. He is still saving people and building loving homes sometimes from the ashes of brokenness and failure. Question: Does Jesus invite others to help Him do miracles only when raising Lazarus from the dead, or might He be calling on you to help Him roll stones and loosen grave clothes today, sharing His love with those outside the faith and with those who may be alive in Christ but still bound in the grave clothes of the past? Regardless of who you are, Jesus Christ wants to use you to powerfully and passionately illustrate His love and power…starting at home.
Why don’t you ask Him, where He wants you to begin or to go next in this mission?
Light Source #2: Frequent Experiences in the Word (Do The Book)
Let’s Do: Ephesians 4:31-32
(31) Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. (32) Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Before discussing these questions/answers with your spouse, please take time to do them independently:
1. Would you make a list of the people who have hurt you and whom you have not taken time or known how to forgive?
2. Once the list is complete, would you take each person before the Lord Jesus and tell Him what they did to hurt you – disappoint you – damage your life? As you tell Him about each person, would ask Jesus to give you His grace to forgive them for their offense? As hard as this may be for some, please know that giving forgiveness away is like giving money to someone else from an open account to which you have been given access. The money is not yours and neither is the forgiveness. Jesus forgives us and tells us to forgive others in the same way He forgives us.
3. When you forgive others from the heart and God’s Holy Spirit comforts you in the process, the release is not just for the one you forgive. Who benefits most when you and I forgive another person even if they are never repentant for wrongs done?
Light Source #3: Other Jesus Followers – Have Real Fellowship with Your Spouse
Please give each other opportunity to ask, listen, respond with care, and give support as needed and wanted.
4. I can think of few activities you and your spouse could do together to foster a sense of Joint Accomplishment or to exemplify an actual miracle of Mutual Giving than to comfort one another as each of you forgives any and all those who have hurt you in your past. What was it like for the two of you to let go of past offenses and be together to connect deeply as you watched God at work in the other?
5. If forgiveness for you and me was Jesus’ main mission while on earth, would you discuss with your spouse how to make it a priority with each other and / or with your children and family? (i.e., perhaps you and your spouse could acknowledge a wrong done – especially one done in the presence of the kids – and ask forgiveness of each other in their presence so they will know what confession and forgiveness looks like.
Now — What About the Kids? “Ask – Listen – Respond”
1. How do you feel a child can be taught the skill of Joint Accomplishment? What could you and your child of focus do together to help him or her learn Joint Accomplishment (accomplishing a task or fun activity together)?
2. How would a child become a person willing to give, rather than take? How does your family model fit this learning process as a “stepping stone” or a “stumbling block”? Did your family of origin help you know how to be accomplish things together or to be selfless? Describe.
We want to take the opportunity to thank you for using this tool, for suggesting improvements to it, and for making the investment in your marriage. It really is one of the most valuable investments you can make, and it pays dividends! Giving your partner time and a listening ear are vital to know how to accomplish important tasks together and how to give selflessly what your spouse really needs from you.
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