It’s One Thing to Talk About It, But What Does Acceptance Look Like?
To build a family where relationships are worth duplicating, there needs to be authentic Acceptance woven into its fabric. “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.” If that is true, my grandson should be incredibly flattered, but so should I, my wife, my daughter, and son-in-law. That little girl I keep picturing (not today) copies words (sorta’), tries to do almost everything her big brother does, and can be seen and heard duplicating facial expressions and attitudes. Of course, it’s the cutest thing ever, but copying behaviors doesn’t always turn out well.
What we hope to establish for her, all of our grandkids and each other is a clear picture or what Acceptance looks like. For example, when someone pitches a fit and has to be corrected, we want her to see restoration and resolution of conflict. That might include some type of disciplinary action followed by tender touch, kind words, and moving on to enjoy the next minutes or hours together leaving the incident in the past where it belongs. There may also be asking forgiveness and granting it. At times, we may even demonstrate how to restore something that was damaged or broken in the conflict.
When we have a conversation, we want to model good listening habits and proper responses. James 1:19-20 makes it clear that we are to listen well, speak appropriately, and respond without anger. When conversations turn to arguments and voices are raised, resolution rarely ever follows. A question to ponder is “How was conflict resolved in your home during your growing up years?” One way to show Acceptance is to restore the person who may have caused the problem in the first place by making sure they are touched, hugged, welcomed into the family circle for the game or the movie.
What if a child (or an adult) comes home from school, a competition, work, or other activity that took them away from the home that day, and you notice he/she is down. You may discover by asking a good question the reason for the downcast look or sour attitude. You might ask, “Can you tell me if something was difficult for you today? You seem a sad or out of sorts.”
Acceptance will lead you to ask a good question, listen well to the answer, and give an appropriate response such as a hug, a reply (“That does sound difficult. But I love you.), and perhaps an attempt to help move on to something where they can feel wanted or included.
Could you take a few minutes to think about what you want others to do when you feel rejected or not wanted or not good enough for others? Who in your circle of friends or family needs to know they are loved even if they have failed or are quite different from others?