Comfort : Caringly responding to a hurting person through words, actions, emotional responses, and physical touch; hurting with and for others in the midst of their grief or pain.
(Romans 12: 15 NASB; Matthew 5:4: 2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
Comfort: A hug after a rough day. Getting out of dress clothes at the end of the day. Yummy, home cooked food. A listening ear. A hand held. A spoken prayer. Loving, heartfelt words spoken/written. A loving presence during crushing grief. A surprise gift/meal. The sun shining on your face. Birds singing on a beautiful spring morning. The sounds of your family laughing together. A kissed boo-boo knee. Having your home filled with loved ones. The sound of rain on a tin roof. God’s whispers into your hurting heart. Comfort can come in many ways, can’t it?
When was the last time you needed comfort? How was the need met for you in that circumstance? Spend a few moments recalling that time. Was your need actually met? If not, what would have met that need? At times we may not know how we can feel comforted. Of course, each circumstance is different, but knowing what comfort means to you and to another special person may be helpful in the future.
As we think of past times when our need for comfort was met, or not met, it may help you understand what you need. Did you know it is perfectly OK to share your needs with a loved one? GASP! Some of us don’t like that do we? We have a need; yet, we think those dear/near to us are just supposed to somehow “know” how to meet our needs.
Let me ask: Have you ever been to a funeral? You want to bring comfort to your grieving loved one, but what do you say? How do you act? Your heart wants to do/say/be whatever he/she needs, doesn’t it? Wouldn’t it be helpful if they told you what they needed? You could even ask what they need? He/She might not even know at the moment, but your care and concern alone may help them feel comforted. “I want you to know I care.”
Some general principles apply:
Ask God to give comfort through you. Holy Spirit is the Comforter.
Identify ways you receive or like to be comforted and start there.
Ask, as appropriate, how your friend / family wants to be comforted.
Remember examples of effective comfort you have seen, heard, read.
Giving comfort can be a little tricky as it may look different depending on circumstances. Remember – everyone is different and each circumstance is different.
- How was Jesus’ words to John and Mary comforting to them, even from the cross? John 19:26. How has He comforted you lately in scripture , songs, praise, quiet meditation,worship, or __________ ?
- Talk with family/friend about ways you have been or would have enjoyed receiving comfort after or during a difficulty.