Greetings!
What does it mean that your spouse is “for” you? What difference would it make in the way you face your day if you knew your spouse was “for” you and was looking out for your best interest? How well do you communicate to your spouse that you are “for” him/her? Consistently (not perfectly or constantly) meeting your spouses’ Ten Relational Needs is a great way to communicate that you are “for” him/her! Let’s take some time this week to talk about Affectionate Caring and get even better at communicating that we are truly “for” our spouse.
Don’t forget to check out the new Q4K section, offering questions to use as you talk about these relational tools with your kids.
In this email, you’ll find the “Ingredient of the Week”, which highlights one of the essential characteristics of a healthy relationship. Our “LOVE(Speak)” section contains five questions crafted to enhance communication as a couple. We have also included some “Getting Started” suggestions if you need a little direction as you begin.
Please don’t hesitate to let us know if you have any questions or suggestions for us!
The TBI Ministries Team
Getting Started
Be intentional about setting aside a few minutes this week or planning a date night to discuss Affectionate Caring together.
Husband, would you lead this time by reviewing the statements to be completed or questions being asked so that you know how to make the most of your time? When you are ready, please initiate a “Love (Speak)” time with your wife.
Ingredient of the Week
Affectionate Caring
“I care about you.”
“I want to be your friend.”
Enemy: Unresolved pain in the relationship.
LOVE(Speak)
1. What does your spouse do to help you feel that you have a friend in him/her? (he/she is “for” you)
2. What circumstances or actions currently negatively influence the closeness in your marriage…cause to wonder if he/she is really “for” you?
3. Would you discuss how/if you have attempted to overcome barriers to closeness? How successful were your attempts? Do you need help? Do you know whom to ask? Are you praying together about God’s solution?
4. What is the potential outcome if you use your remaining years to better meet your spouse’s Top Ten Relational Needs? What is the likely outcome if you are unappreciative, disrespectful, discouraging, disapproving, unsupportive, etc.?
5. Mutually determine 3 ways that you want the level of your relationship to deepen over the coming year. Develop a “vision for your marriage”. Will you mark your calendar with reminders to assess your progress?
(Some suggestions to help fulfill your vision… read a book together, do the Never Alone Devotional for Couples or the 52-Week Plan consistently, go on at least one “just the two of you” date a month, complete Chapter 16 in the Intimate Encounters workbook (again), start praying together consistently for your kids/each other/friends, etc.
Consider: If your car breaks, you take it to a trusted mechanic. If your air conditioner goes out, you call a trusted repair service. If your tooth won’t stop hurting, you go to a trusted dentist. What do you do if your marriage is broken? Keep quiet, continue doing the same things that got you to this point, yell louder than your spouse, read a book, ask for help? Help is available and the answers are out there. Don’t stop until your children and friends envy your relationship and want one like it.
Seriously Consider: Want to leave a legacy and inheritance that matters? Better than leaving an expensive collector’s car is the priceless blessing of leaving behind the loving legacy of a marriage that clearly illustrates Christ’s love.
Q4K
1. What are some things that happened lately that made you feel really happy and loved?
2. What are some ways you have tried to show love to someone else? How did it go?