I hate to lose. Don’t you?
Losing became a way of life resulting in the fear of engaging in competition, since I was sure I would not succeed anyway. That was true in sports, in relationships, and in my spiritual journey. But…….
What if my losses were by standards I was only imagining and not based on winning by God’s definition? That is exactly where the problems lay. In sports I discovered I was a decent 3rd baseman but my batting average was pretty bad. Then after sustaining an eye injury while playing third base, my abilities at third base fell off because I was now afraid of the ball. That injury made my batting prowess (which could hardly be worse) even worse. I was a non-athletic loser.
In relationships, especially with girls I wanted to date or friends I sought, my losses were frequent and tragic by my standards. The same failures in dating carried over to “friendships”. It seemed I didn’t know how to make friends or keep them. At home, where my many siblings were great people, but I didn’t feel like I belonged or was important to anyone, except my granddaddy, who passed away when I was a child. Everyone seemed to be too busy or distracted to want to be interested in my life. I was a relational loser.
Even in my walk with Christ which was awakened early due to our frequent church attendance, I couldn’t seem to be good enough to feel secure in my relationship with God. So many Sundays I felt guilt and tried to resolve the guilt only to determine I wasn’t good enough, would never be good enough, and fought the idea of just giving up on God altogether. I was a loser spiritually.
I got so tired of losing at these key areas of life. I almost gave up on God, but He didn’t give up on me!
But God…….
My Father God never gave up on me. He took my losing ways and changed my definition of success.
In athletics He convinced me to at least try, to keep participating, to find something I could do successfully. I eventually ran and jogged for exercise and played intramural athletics where I could enjoy not having to be the best one on the field. I could let others succeed without belittling myself.
In relationships God taught me that it is more important to love others from a life filled with His love than to measure success by how many others loved me. I found out that others are looking for friendships too; but, as I, they may not know how. I could be successful at helping others by being a friend to them whether or not they could be a good friend in return.
Even in my family, I began to invest in others rather than waiting for them to pursue a relationship with me. They are just as needy of God’s love and my love as I am of love from them.
Finally, my Savior taught me that He loved me first even before I knew how to return the love He wanted from me. In this way Jesus showed me that I had always been loved by Him, whether or not others modeled that love well for me. This made me want to stop sinful habits I had developed along the road of trying to manipulate people and circumstances so others would love me or at least act as if they did. My life was changing for the better because I wanted God to know I loved Him. Obedience to His Word was one way I could show Him.
Please consider John 3:16 from Jesus own words and believe He really loves you first and will give that love to you as well as teach you to give it away. You will never exhaust the supply Jesus offers. I John 4:19; Philippians 1:9-11
Because of God’s love for me and for you, we are not losers but winners and overcomers. Let’s live it out.