Acceptance
Deliberate and ready reception with a favorable positive response, despite differences and even after failure
Romans 15:7
John 21:15-17 – Jesus accepted Peter even after Peter’s failure.
A Worthy Goal: (a little “Truth in Love” from TBI)
Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage and family until your children and friends envy your relationship and want what you have…. “faith expressing itself in love” – Galatians 5:6.
Too many people, even many followers of Christ, speak the “language of alone”. Instead of speaking the “truth in love,” many scream the truth or hide the truth while walking on eggshells. Too many never resolve conflict but perpetuate it by ignoring it or using ineffective methods. At the root of the “language of alone” is the inability to accept others as they are – differences and all; failures and all. Let’s explore acceptance more deeply. Let’s unlearn the language of alone and start learning the language of intimacy! Ready?
Enjoy discussing Acceptance with your spouse this week!
Have a great week!
Sincerely,
Dave Lewis The Basic Idea Helping Leaders Live Loved and Give Love Freely….Starting at Home!
Set aside a few minutes this week or plan a date night to discuss ACCEPTANCE.
Husband, would you lead this time? Please be prepared to lead by reviewing the questions below. When ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time.
LOVE (SPEAK) Jesus made it clear: “love one another as I have loved you”. John 13: 34 – Since He loves us by inviting us to give him our burdens, the Holy Spirit will help us love others by helping carry their burdens. I John 5:14-15
1. When did you last disappoint your spouse and how did you and he/she handle that disappointment? (maybe you did not get a job, a promotion, spent too much money, bought stuff not on the list, got caught watching something offensive, didn’t get the house cleaned up, burned dinner, late for dinner, job interfered with time with family, did not respond to romantic overtures, etc.)
2. When did your spouse “fail” in some way? How did you respond? (see above examples of disappointments)
3. In what ways do you and your spouse differ? (politics, religion, choices of entertainment, desire to spend time with extended family, hobbies, athletic ability or interest, size of pay checks) Are these difference sources of conflict or can you accept each other in spite of differences? How does listening well and responding appropriately help communicate acceptance?
4. Do The Book! How does the application of Ephesians 4:15 and 29 help communicate acceptance?
15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.
29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.
5. Which are your current conflict resolution methods of choice? Choosing more than once answer is fine.
- Ignore the disappointment or hurt
- Talk about the situation as long as it takes for the other person to get it
- Mope around for a few days until someone asks, “What’s wrong?”
- Pray together for wisdom
- Listen to the other person’s perspective and attempt to understand
- Argue enough to exhaust one of us so we can declare a winner
- Ask for help when we are stuck
- Talk about ways to stop this conflict
- Ask for forgiveness when I am wrong
- Not allow the other person to dominate the conversation.
Fellowship With Spouse! Move toward Each Other’s Heart as You Discuss-Do your current methods of conflict resolution (or non-resolution) sound more like the “language of alone” or the “language of connect”? What method(s) do you prefer over your current ones? (See ten above or add some of your own)
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Now — What About the Kids? Ask- Listen- Respond
You and your children may benefit from discussing the following questions with your spouse or other caring adult
1. What ways of dealing with conflict (which is inevitable in human relationships…right?) are you modeling for children – yours or others?
2. Would it be healthy for your children/child of focus to watch you resolve a conflict, admit wrong, ask for forgiveness? What do you pray and hope your children learn and do in order to successfully resolve inevitable conflicts?
It’s in the Book!!
Eph. 4:15 Instead, we will speak the truth in love, growing in every way more and more like Christ, who is the head of his body, the church.
Eph. 4:29 Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.