Distracted Driving and Distracted Living –
Accidents Happen, Don’t They?
I guess they call them accidents because we can’t do anything to stop them once they are in motion, but isn’t it true that some automobile accidents are avoidable? So there are ways to prevent some accidents by paying attention, practicing proven methods of defensive driving, obeying posted speed limits, etc.
However, I also know that some accidents are unavoidable, such as the one my grandson and I were in about a year ago. We had to come to an abrupt stop behind a line of traffic that had unexpectedly stopped in front of us. We stopped, but that kind of stop made me very grateful for anti-lock brakes (ABS). Just about the time our vehicle came to a complete stop, we heard screeching tires on the pavement closing in behind us. I looked in the rearview mirror just in time to see a pickup truck sliding sideways coming toward us. It hit us hard and after the impact our car rolled into the car in front of us. Our car was totaled and shortened about a foot; his truck was totaled. He let me know later that he did hit the brakes, but his ABS failed, and his brakes locked up. The skid was on! His brakes didn’t stop him; our Toyota Highlander did.
So we were all obeying the traffic laws but due to equipment failure, our incident became an accident. Thankfully no one was hurt seriously. The other driver was kind, compassionate, and very sorry for the damage done; but it was done.
I have come so close to accidents in my 58-year driving career, but none any worse than that one. Some of those close calls were due to my not paying attention, relying on side view mirrors instead of a glance over the shoulder. I should have paid more attention.
Cars can be fixed or replaced. Bodies can be repaired – sometimes, but accidents or collisions in human relationships can cause injuries undetected by the eye or a doctor’s examination.
As followers of Christ(and I hope you are), I pray you and I can obey some of the rules of the Relational Road to avoid relationship collisions and damaged lives. Here are some “Relational Rules of the Road” I wish I knew sooner and practiced more often along the way:
1. Listen to understand versus always talking to be understood.
2. Pay attention to others by not always thinking about the next project/appointment.
3. Pay attention to others by stopping to look into their eyes when they speak.
4. Ask better questions that call for more than a one-word answer.
5. Ask follow-up questions when someone else is telling a story to better understand or to communicate interest.
6. Respond with appropriate emotion: celebrate others celebrations; grieve with others expressing sorrow.
7. Use fewer words when appropriate. Add more words when listener wants more details.
8. When conversations need more time, be open to return to the conversation later.
9. Be as vulnerable with your heart as you can be and as the other desires you to be.
10. Pray with others in the good times and in the difficult ones. We don’t have to solve every problem. We can’t
The main reason I wish I had known and practiced more the above keys is that I could have deeper relationships with more people – family and friends and maybe even more friends!