Acceptance: Receiving others willingly and unconditionally (even when their behavior has been imperfect) and loving them in spite of any differences that may exist between you. (Romans 15:7)
Please read the definition of Acceptance again (above). Do you accept your spouse this way? How about when you have a disagreement and things get a little heated? Does your spouse know that, no matter what, he/she is fully accepted by you? Do you feel accepted from them?
There are times in marriage when we will have disagreements with each other and this is normal. We are human beings and therefore have differences, but our spouse should never feel unacceptable or unaccepted.
Think about the last disagreement with your spouse. In the midst of the disagreement did you know in your heart that, no matter what, your spouse is “for” you? Do you now have the reassurance in your soul that this woman/man loves you fully and unconditionally? Do you feel heard when you share your thoughts, even if they differ from his/hers? This is acceptance.
Maybe you couldn’t answer “yes” to some of these questions. Let’s take a look at how we can learn to better fill the need for acceptance for our spouse.
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Acceptance
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12)
Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus.
I will ask you to go ahead and read the definition for Acceptance above again.
IS THIS NOT JESUS!?
In scripture, Jesus was often criticized for accepting those who were “less acceptable” or even “unacceptable ” in the world’s eyes. Children: He welcomed with open arms. Tax collectors: He visited and ate with them. The unclean: He touched them and healed them. You and me: He says we are fearfully and wonderfully made! He gave His own life for us to live!
You are accepted…completely…end of story.
Would you spend some time with the One that accepts you so freely, so completely, so unconditionally? If you feel unacceptable ask Him to remind you that you are accepted by a holy God because of Jesus’ gift of righteousness. He loves you…take it all in!!!
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Let’s do: 1 Samuel 16:7 But the Lord said to Samuel, “Do not look on his appearance or on the height of his stature, because I have rejected him. For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.”
It is easy to look and make a judgement by what we observe on the outside of a person, isn’t it? This world would be a different place if we began to look past the outside and look instead on what’s inside a person.
Have you been judged and then rejected just because of what someone thought of you? Sometimes acceptance of others begins with acceptance of ourselves first.
Don’t let others dictate your view of yourself. Instead, think of yourself the way God sees you. In Christ, you are perfect and blameless. When God looks at you He sees Christ! Oh, friends, He knows us intimately and loves us perfectly- blemishes and all.
As we learn to accept ourselves, we can then begin to accept others, especially our spouse, as we begin to see them the way God does – loved and wanted.
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with our spouse: “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
If you haven’t really accepted your spouse and put conditions on him/her, would you ask their forgiveness?
Most of us have a great need for acceptance, especially from our spouse. Without unconditional acceptance we can feel unsafe in the relationship…walking on eggshells. Do you really want your spouse to feel that way? My guess is absolutely not!
So…going forward.
If a tension comes between you, remember you are for each other. Speak the truth in love to one another. Remember that no matter what…. you will choose to love and accept him/her unconditionally, even during times of disagreement. Just because you disagree does not mean you are against one another. Conflict in relationships is inevitable, but acceptance tempers the emotions so that truth can be spoken in love!