Acceptance
Receiving others willingly and unconditionally (even when their behavior has been imperfect) and loving them in spite of differences that may exist between you
Romans 15:7
Jesus accepted the woman caught in adultery.
John 8:1-11
Each of us is “different” from others in some amazing ways. How good are we at accepting people different from us? The idea is that we are not to love each other less just because we differ. Also, if another person disappoints us because of a “failure”, we are to accept them as equally valuable in God’s eyes; and therefore, we are not to judge them as inferior. How about showing acceptance at home in our marriage and parenting?
In this email, you’ll find the “Need of the Week”, which highlights one of the Top Ten Relational Needs.
Our “LOVE(Speak)” section contains five questions crafted to enhance communication as a couple. While you’re at it, don’t forget to check out our “Q4K” section, offering questions to use as you talk about these relational tools with your kids!
Please don’t hesitate to let us know if you have any questions or suggestions for us!
The TBI Ministries Team
A Worthy Goal: (a little Support from TBI)
Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage and family until your children and friends envy your relationship and want what you have…. “faith expressing itself in love” – Galatians 5:6.
Set aside a few minutes this week or plan a date night to discuss Acceptance together.
Husband, would you lead this time? Please be prepared to lead by reviewing the questions below. When ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time.
LOVE(Speak)
1. Do you and your spouse enjoy the same music or are your tastes different? How about when you first started dating: music, movies, favorite restaurants, means of relaxing…the same or quite different?
2. When your spouse “fails” you in some way, how do you respond? Are you accepting of him/her and do you communicate a favorable response even after a disappointment?
3. Are there some key areas where your differences show up more often or where you hurt each other through unfulfilled hopes or expectations? Would you be willing to work on communicating acceptance to each other as well as finding out how to stop hurting each other? Need help? Ask a trusted person/resource!
4. The Question – Think about it for yourself then ask your spouse the following question: “Would you describe something that happened recently that made you feel happy, special, or fulfilled?”
As your spouse answers the question, be ready to “rejoice with those who do rejoice”. Romans 12:15a leads me to respond to my spouse, “I am so glad you experienced that.”
5. The Other Question – “Would you tell me something that happened recently that made you sad, disappointed, or hurt?”
As your spouse answers the question, be ready to “mourn with those who mourn”. Romans 12:15b leads me to respond to my spouse, “It makes me sad to see how much that hurt you.”
Application: Do you meet with each other on a regular basis to discuss schedules, finances, etc.? Consider adding this question to the agenda: “Where do you most need my help today, this coming week (month, etc.)?”
What About the Kids? Ask – Listen – Respond
1. In what ways is your child different from what you expected or what you’d hoped….more than or less than? Did you hope for a girl and got a boy? Does your child know that whether he excels or is an “ok” student; whether he is an athlete, artist, or techie; he/she is loved for just being your child and not because of performance? Do you express appreciation for effort as well as accomplishment?
2. Pray about giving your child/child of focus the experience of training, correction, AND acceptance. Illustration: after a child misbehaves and you correct him/her, make sure you go back and hold your child (child of focus) or in some appropriate way let him/her know your love is constant even when their behavior is not. How are you at this? Describe to your spouse how desperately you need God’s guidance for parenting and in other key relationships.
BIG NOTE: We may differ in how we comfort and encourage others or in the ways we need acceptance shown. These questions and ideas are to foster conversation where we can explain and listen well – leading to deeper understanding and greater love.