“Do You Understand the Words Coming Out of My Mouth?”

Understanding:

Seeking to know and accept another without judging. Rom. 12:16

Understanding someone does not always mean you are in 100% agreement with him/her. Rather, it is adjusting your own thoughts and responses to foster harmony. 

Romans 12:16 says, “Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.”

We can dig our heels in if we think our way is the only way, can’t we? Let me ask you though, hasn’t God created us all to be unique – one of a kind? He has placed in each of us beautiful gifts, passions, talents, opinions and thoughts! Rather than assume we are always right, wouldn’t it be better to love one another by listening to try to understand rather than continuously talking to be understood? Maybe we could use our listening ears (we have two of them – usually) more than our talking mouth (of which there is but one)!  

Perhaps our differences are present to help each other grow, learn, appreciate, and change.  I think that idea is much better than simply thinking our differences exist just to “try our patience”.

This can be a beautiful thing if you reflect on it for a minute. When we try to understand one another, that requires us to be humble and to have respect for the other person. It requires us to “lean in” and really listen, not formulate our comeback.

In a healthy relationship both parties should be able to share thoughts and opinions and feel secure in the fact that it is OK to have different perspectives. Understanding is just that, to be OK with it.

Understanding is accepting one another for exactly who they are! In fact,as I write this, I realized that understanding one another fills most if not all of the relational needs -respect, security, acceptance and appreciation, to name a few. Isn’t it amazing that one gesture of attempting to truly understand someone can meet so many needs?

The second half of Romans 12:16 is another way to be understanding. Don’t think of yourself more highly than others. We come from varied backgrounds, but we all bleed the same. We all have needs, and we all want to be understood, don’t we? Let us make every effort to understand our brothers/sisters in Christ, our spouse, our children, our extended family, strangers we encounter daily, co-workers, neighbors and friends. God loves each of us and wants to be known by us.  Shouldn’t we love and seek to know others, as well? Not doing that would result in much pain, wasted time, and mediocre rather than abundant relationships.

1. Jesus was a great listener.  He understood others thoughts and even their motives.  He loved those who agreed and those who differed from Him.  He spoke the truth in love to everyone. Whether He was speaking tenderly (John 8:11) or forcefully (Matthew 12:34), He spoke truth and loved those listening.  They, as we, don’t always love Him back!
2. Let’s Do the Book!  Please read James 1:19  “Dear brothers, don’t ever forget that it is best to listen much, speak little, and not become angry.” This week in conversations with folks who normally “push your buttons”, would you prayerfully prepare and listen to understand (even if you can’t agree). Talk less to be understood and listen more and better to understand.  
3. In conversations with family, friends, and co-workers (if you dare), ask your conversation partner to tell you about a person who makes them feel special, heard, or “someone who makes them feel like there is no one more important” when in their presence.  What would it take for you (and me) to become a person who makes others feel heard, special, and important? Could eye contact, asking follow up questions, and letting others finish talking before we jump in – help? What if we turned off the distracting devises?  Helpful?