Don’t Get Too Close! On Second Thought, Come On Over!
Like the picture in the frame above? We are currently serving with a church in the New England area, and the leaves are turning beautiful colors. The picture is not mine, but we do get some pretty brilliant fall foliage. And the leaves ain’t bad either. 🙂 In the midst of all this color and chilly weather, we are experiencing some sadness and difficult times in families in the church. In the past week 4 senior adults have passed away. I just got word of another man who died suddenly last night! What is going on? All but one of these good people were either in Hospice care of otherwise not expected to live much longer. None were covid victims; but nonetheless, there are many grieving families around us. Tomorrow at church will be a sobering experience as we take the Lord’s Table together and remember our Lord Jesus’ death.
I want to propose for your consideration a solution to an age-old problem. The problem defined would read something like this: What if I don’t get close to people so that when they die, I won’t be hurt so deeply or feel the loss so keenly?
What do you think about that? Do you agree or is there a better way to deal with the passing of a loved one that, though painful, can also be a time of celebration of a life? See, I think it is worth the risk of getting close to a person so that you enjoy them while you can. That way you don’t have to live with nearly as many regrets after they are gone into eternity.
There are those who actually shy away from getting close to others because they’ve been hurt, deeply hurt. Rather than run the risk of being hurt again, they conclude that it is “better” to not let anyone into their heart; not to give too much or be very vulnerable with others. The relationships are shallow, but as you might guess, the reluctant person feels they are at a safe distance. But that isn’t the way it works, is it?
In all the shallowness, the “let’s just have a ‘good time’ together” lifestyle simply leads to heartbreak of another kind. Why? Because without deep, intimate relationships full of giving and receiving love, we feel alone when the music stops, the lights go out, and the entertainment is over. The gnawing, nagging feeling of aloneness isn’t satisfied or even appeased for long by shallow relationships. No, sir or ma’am, we are built to go deep, to let others know us, to know others, and to care and be cared for in meaningful relationships.
I just got word in the last half hour that friends of mine are having deepening marriage problems. They have hurt each other so often and so deeply that now they are thinking of giving up.
May I offer you and them an alternative? Please don’t quit.
If you don’t like the level of your relationships currently, get up and do something wise. Or get on your knees and do something wiser. Get God involved. Ask Him for a miracle of healing. Ask Him, if you dare, to reveal your part in all the mess you’re in. Then be still and listen. Once you hear His voice telling you what needs to change in you, write it down. Take a few minutes to let God tell you how He feels about what you’ve done to damage the other person or people, then confess to Him that you are wrong. Humbly ask His forgiveness. He’ll give it. (Read 1 John 1:9)
If you haven’t done this in a while, it may take you some extended time. I know. I know. Nobody seems to have time to stop, pray, listen, and take God’s directions seriously. He wants you and me to love and be loved, but the only side of the equation over which you have any power or control is the side where you love the other person. No one has to love you back. They will have to make that choice themselves.
What do you say? Tired of feeling alone? Tired of thinking there is no hope left for you? If you are, do something really smart, super wise. Get with the Creator Who made you and ask Him how much He loves you. Go ahead, ask Him. Now picture Jesus Christ nailed to a cross with His arms outstretched. Look at Him. With His arms stretched about as far as they could be, He is saying to you, ” I love you thiiisss much!” John 3:16 says it biblically.