Encouragement
Urging others to persist and persevere in their efforts to attain their goals; stimulating others towards love and good deeds.
I Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 10:24
Jesus sent his disciples out to do kingdom work. John 14:12
Do you feel encouraged these days? Or is the stress of the holidays wearing on you, emotionally and spiritually? Christmas Day has come and gone, but the Jesus – whose birth we celebrated – continues to inspire and command and empower us to love God and each other. So, let’s take a few minutes out of the bustle and busyness of this season to talk about Encouragement and hear how your spouse needs to receive it from you. Don’t you think love would be even more noticeable if we became experts at Encouragement vs. unintentional discouragement.
A Worthy Goal: (a little Support from TBI) Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage and family until your children and friends envy your relationship and want what you have…. “faith expressing itself in love” – Galatians 5:6.
Set aside a few minutes this week or plan a date night to discuss Encouragement together.
Husband, would you lead this time? Please be prepared to lead by reviewing the questions below. When ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time.
LOVE(Speak)
In the questions below, the phrase “your world” refers to those likes, dislikes, activities, people, challenges and opportunities that occupy your time, engage your thoughts, and receive investments of time, talent, and wealth.
1. Can you list some goals or dreams currently in your heart “to do” or “to be” someday? ( I want to go on a trip, start a ministry, work with couples, become a small business owner, stop being a small business owner, learn a new language or play an instrument, become the best husband/wife ever; be a better parent, pray more, etc…)
2. How would you hope to have encouragement shown to you when those dreams and goals are articulated? (“I am so proud of you for aspiring to that goal.”; “I believe in you.”; “Go for it!”; or just have another person listen without comment or without negative comment…)
3. In your life, what has been the normal reaction of others with whom you’ve shared a dream or idea?
4. In what ways could you be more encouraging to your spouse? (I could listen more closely and try to feel the excitement he/she is trying to express.; I could turn away from other distractions to look him/her right in the eye then respond positively whether or not I believe he/she will achieve their dream or goal. Etc.)
5. How does “being allowed to share an idea without being interrupted” fit into your concept of encouragement? When you share an idea, does it mean you will automatically do it or are you looking for someone to simply hear you out? (Some people speak to think and others think to speak. When you process things, do you “think first, speak later” or “speak first and hear yourself say it out loud”?)
Application: As a couple, do you meet with each other on a regular basis to discuss schedules, finances, etc.? Consider adding this question to the agenda:”Where do you most need my encouragement and how can I better encourage (keep from discouraging) you?” (just listen, hold me, tell me you are not going to leave me alone to hurt by myself, etc.?)
What About the Kids? Ask – Listen – Respond
1. When did your child or child of focus seem discouraged recently? Do you remember the circumstances? Did he/she fail at something, receive harsh criticism, lose a friend or a pet, hear an argument? What caused their discouragement?
2. How did you respond? Were you encouraging? Did you listen well? Did you offer words to let him/her know you believe in him/her and will always love even if discouragement comes? Even your asking “Are you sad about something; would you like to tell me about it?” may be a good way to encourage a child. Someone cares enough to ask and listen, hug, care…
Note: When attempting to meet the relational needs of a child, we may not always “get it right” or “do it well”, but we can make progress as we learn the language of intimacy/relationships. You are making a difference and perhaps setting a child in the direction of healthier relationships earlier in life than you experienced personally.
Helping children KNOW they are loved may also be the step they need to personally accept the love of God offered to them for salvation in Jesus Christ.