Appreciation
Expressing thanks, praise, or commendation, particularly in recognition of someone’s accomplishments or efforts.
I Corinthians 11:2, Colossians 3:15b
A Worthy Goal: (a little “Truth in Love” from TBI)
Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage and family until your children and friends envy your relationship and want what you have…. “faith expressing itself in love” – Galatians 5:6.
We have ” appreciation days” for administrative assistants, for grandparents, for mothers, and fathers… But we don’t have appreciation days specifically allocated for spouses. Is it just me, or does that seem odd?
Our spouse’s heart can be easily taken for granted…or granite. One simple way that love can be expressed and felt is by telling your spouse, “Thank you!”, “You tried so hard.”, “I appreciate your hard work.”
Would you set a special time this week to have an “Appreciation Day discussion” (Marriage Staff Meeting) so that we can have more and more “Appreciation Days” and times when you help your spouse know and feel appreciated and special? This 52-Week installment will help you accomplish this worthwhile task. Thanks for investing. Feel appreciated??? 🙂
Sincerely, Dave Lewis
Be intentional about setting aside a few minutes this week or planning a date night to discuss Appreciation together.
Husband, would you lead this time by reviewing the statements to be completed or questions being asked so that you know how to make the most of your time? When you are ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time with your wife.
As you use this tool – the 52-Week Plan – be sure to make some of the Marriage Staff Meetings fun to lighten things up a bit.
LOVE SPEAK…
Light Source #1: Fresh Encounters with Jesus Christ
Reach into your memory or into your Bible or a search engine on your computer and discover 2 or 3 qualities or actions of Jesus’ life that you truly appreciate.
In prayer, tell Him so.
“Jesus, I so appreciate your ________________, the time you ______________, and your _____________________.” (perhaps you remembered or found Jesus’ loving care, His kindness to outcasts or boldness with the power-brokers, His willing sacrifice on the cross or His exit from the tomb to life and power over death.)
Light Source #2: Frequent Experiences in the Word (Do The Book)
Let’s Do: Luke 10:39-42
1. What differences do you notice in this passage between Martha and Mary’s choices?
2. What was Jesus’ response to the choice made by each of these sisters? Neither of the sisters made a bad choice; however, one made a choice that was better for the occasion.
3. What choices has your spouse made today that show sacrifice, wisdom, willingness to serve, or dedication to you and your family? a. Does your spouse make choices each day that help him/her meet your physical or financial needs? When was the last time you expressed appreciation for that effort and gratitude for the sacrifices he/she makes to meet the needs? b. Do you see him/her choosing to attend services, pray, read the Scripture, or otherwise invest in the spiritual health of your relationship? Have you expressed gratitude for those wise investments? c. Does your spouse play with the kids, get the family together, take you to dinner or indicate interest in being with you alone? Have you expressed thanks for his/her investing in the relational needs of the family?
You do realize that he/she doesn’t have to do any of that. Perhaps saying “thank you” occasionally might help him/her make even better choices along the way. No one likes to try hard and never receive any acknowledgement of the effort. I will do my best to continue to make good choices and invest in the relationships even without the appreciation, but well-placed appreciation may grease the gears and make the effort simpler and more effective…..??!!
Light Source #3: Other Jesus Followers – Have Real Fellowship with Your Spouse
Would you consider the 3 questions above and bring those to the discussion as you have a Marriage Staff Meeting with your spouse this week? These next two questions are to help us improve at listening to and expressing emotion wisely.
4. The Question(ask spouse): Would you tell me something that happened recently that made you feel happy, special, or fulfilled?
As your spouse answers the question, be ready to “rejoice with those who do rejoice”. Romans 12:15a leads me to respond to my spouse, “I am so glad that happened to you.”
5. The Other Question(ask spouse): Would you tell me something that happened recently that made you sad, disappointed, or hurt?
As your spouse answers the question, be ready to “mourn with those who mourn”. Romans 12:15 b leads me to respond to my spouse, “I am sorry that happened to you. It makes me sad to see how much that hurt you.”
What About the Kids? They have “needs” too!
Maybe we can help our kids to never develop a heart “taken for granite”!
1. When you were a child, how did the adults in your life show they appreciated you and the contributions you made to the family or to them personally? How would you have liked for appreciation to be shown?
2. As for your child(ren) or Child(ren) of Focus, how might you make a big deal of the things they do to help around the house? Could you create some age-appropriate tasks for them to do then notice it with appropriate appreciation?