When a missionary prepares to leave for another country, he gathers a Support team around him to pray and give to enable him to fulfill his calling. When you have trouble with your computer at work, your tech Support team is called in to evaluate the problem and fix it. The truth is, we all need a little help to make it through the craziness of life! Who is the Support team in your life right now? What are you experiencing that you could use some extra Support to walk through or succeed in? Let’s take some time this week to talk about Support, how your spouse can meet this need for you, and how you can express Support to your spouse.
In this email, you’ll find the “Need of the Week”, which highlights one of the Top Ten Relational Needs.
Our “LOVE(Speak)” section contains five questions crafted to enhance communication as a couple. While you’re at it, don’t forget to check out our “Q4K” section, offering questions to use as you talk about these relational tools with your kids!
We have also included some “Getting Started” suggestions if you need a little direction as you begin.
Please don’t hesitate to let us know if you have any questions or suggestions for us!
The TBI Ministries Team
Getting Started
Be intentional about setting aside a few minutes this week or planning a date night to discuss Support together.
Husband, would you lead this time by reviewing the statements to be completed or questions being asked so that you know how to make the most of your time? When you are ready, please initiate a “LOVE(Speak)” time with your wife.
Need of the Week
Support
Come alongside and gently helping with a problem or struggle; providing appropriate assistance.
Galatians 6:2
Example from Scripture:
Jesus was with his disciples through celebration and challenging times, and left His Spirit.
John 14:18
LOVE(Speak)
1. What seems to be one or two of the more difficult issues your spouse faces currently? Are there things at work, at home, with children, not having children, financial, relational, illness, or with extended family that would make the top 2 list?
2. What are ways you can come alongside and gently help him/her carry that load? Have your asked him/her?
3. Would you ask your spouse and allow him/her to tell you what he/she sees as the top-of-the-list issues? Remember to listen well and ask God to help your properly respond to the grief or sorrow or frustration expressed.
4. How do you feel when your spouse asks you about the issues that you are currently facing and offers to help where possible? How would your expressed gratitude help open further conversations and lead to healthy ways of dealing with your own and your spouse’s most difficult issues?
5. A tension to manage is different from a problem to solve. A tension to manage involves recurring events, multiple methods of dealing with the situations, difficulty in fixing the problem because there may be no way to “fix it”. A problem to solve is just that….there is a discoverable solution that actually ends the problem so that it won’t come up again. A leaky faucet is a “problem to solve”. Managing your calendar or your budget is a “tension to manage”. How would knowing the difference between a “tension to manage” and a “problem to solve” help you discover ways to support your spouse by coming alongside and gently, appropriately help carry his/her load or burden?
Q4K: Yours or Others’
What would you imagine are some of the struggles your child faces? What have you observed, or what do you remember from being that age – what was hard for you during that time? Could it be that your child is feeling some of those same struggles, and may need your Support to get them through it?
One of the ways you can show Support to your child is simply to offer to help. It may be that there is something weighing on his heart and your question, “Is there anything I can help you with?”, might be just what he needs to hear to lighten his load! He may need you to pray for him, or he may need your tangible help. Can you imagine what your child might feel if he knew you wanted to help him, instead of you always asking him to help with household chores and such?
Support could also take the form of offering to help with a tough homework assignment with which your child is struggling or listening patiently to her after she’s had a hard day at school.
Meeting the need for Support will look different for each child, but having a heart that is alert to your child’s need for Support and is willing to help carry his or her load makes a huge impact in the life of a child. Take it from a child who knows. 🙂