How Could We Enter Another Person’s World?
Many news stories reveal that police work in these days is perhaps more dangerous than ever … for policemen. To enter their actual world we’d have to be a policeman and experience what they experience, but the picture above reveals another way to enter their world to show them proper attention and respect. We can pray for them, thank them, and let them know we are grateful for the ways they serve and protect.
Similarly, we may not be able to exactly enter any other person’s world, but we can help meet their need for caring attention and begin to understanding their needs. Twenty-eight years ago when Carol and I first learned of the Top Ten Relational Needs (see the link below), my eyes were opened to a new way to intentionally learn to love my wife in ways that truly meant love to her. One of those ways was discovering that “her world” included me but also our children and grandchildren. Her eyes brighten when she can serve children – ours or those of others. She has invested many years in church work with pre-schoolers and children.
So, I planned to help her spend more time with our grandchildren and joined her when I could. We started having grandkids over more. We loved it and love them, but she particularly likes to cook, serve, and make the necessary arrangements. I enjoy being with them as we watch movies, play ball, play games, and eat popcorn or have our special breakfast of waffles, bacon, and eggs. Carol’s world is happier when she can have children around.
My idea of surprising her with gifts changed from buying stuff to arranging time with kids, sometimes it cost money but mostly it just takes time, planning, and giving my attention to “her world”. Our shopping has changed focus too. We like to be together, and whether or not we buy stuff is not the point. We enter each others world. Even our walking routine provides another way to enter each others world rather than doing all our exercise on our own.
What about the important people in your world? What is “their world”? What do they do, where do they go, and what really makes them light up or happily engage? I guess it was a bit of a rude awakening to realize that I am not the only important person in Carol’s world(that’s a joke), but she still gives me plenty of attention.
We can discover the “world” of those we love by watching facial expressions, body language, and checking out how they invest time and money. Or, we could ask them, “Hey, I believe I know what your world includes and what is important to you, but would you think about it and tell me? I want to know you better!” “What about your world and the things you do engage your heart and mind…what do you like?””
Maybe the Ten Needs list and positive Feeling Faces would help get to answer you need.