Are You Unworthy or Is God?
When I was a kid, going to church was a mixed bag of emotions. I wanted to see some of the people, but I was pretty sure I’d leave feeling bad about myself since the lessons / sermons were convicting. I already felt pretty low because I believed I was a disappointment to God, and that He only tolerated me. Oh, I was kinda’ grateful to be even tolerated if it meant I wouldn’t have to go to hell.
I recall making my way to the altar at the end of many sermons repenting of my thoughts, actions, and attitudes. I came to church guilt-ridden. When it came to worship, I approached God from a position of unworthiness that kept me at a distance from Him rather than bringing me closer for His forgiveness and comfort. He seemed much more a judge to me, who wanted me to live a good life so as not to mess up Jesus’ reputation.
Not often for me, but at times I was angry with God and felt He didn’t deserve to be worshipped because He (or someone else) had disappointed me, hurt me, or let me down. I came to church hurt and angry. In either case worshipping God was not uplifting for me or to Him. I missed the point completely. I came feeling alone and left in the same condition or worse.
Today in our Bible study group, Bill, our teacher taught about the holiness and approachability of God. The passages from Exodus 25 mentioned both the sanctuary and the tabernacle. These two names reveal God’s holiness and His approachability.
The point that I had missed as a child, teen, and young adult was that I made worship about my condition or the feelings which accompanied me into the church building. If I hadn’t had a really good week of good behavior, I felt unworthy to worship and approached God not as my Father Who would cleanse me and accept me, but as my judge Who was ashamed of me or at least disappointed in me.
Why would He want me, a sinner, to worship Him?
The other application was that at times I felt God was not good to me, so I judged Him as unworthy of worship. I was wrong on both counts.
Thankfully, I have learned that He, my Father, loves me regardless of my behavior, and that He is always worthy of worship because He is Holy and Approachable. He loves me and wants me with Him, loving Him back, obeying Him of course, but He knows I won’t do that perfectly. My sin is not excused. My sin is covered by Jesus Christ’s payment in blood on the cross of Calvary.
So worship is not about my fickle emotions or my view of God at any given moment. Worship comes from knowing He loves me, really accepts me in my relationship with Him, bought and paid for by His Son.
Personally, I want to worship Him every day, any time I am not required to focus on other things or other people. Knowing Him better, growing in gratitude for His care and acceptance in spite of my sin, means that my heart can soar to His presence to come “boldly to the throne of grace to find mercy and grace to help in time of need”! (Hebrews 4:16)
When I enter a worship service, I more often can sing, pray, and know His presence because I have been singing in my heart, praying through the week, and getting to know Him better before I arrived at the church building.
He loves me and you. He wants us close to His heart. He is preparing a place for us to be with Him forever. Let’s start heaven here, now, and worship Him in spirit and truth every day in preparation for worship with the church here for awhile; and hereafter, forever.