Appreciation: Expressing thanks, praise, or commendation, particularly in recognition of someone’s accomplishments or efforts. Gratefully acknowledging what someone “does” (Colossians 3:15b, 1 Corinthians 11:2).
Ever notice how your child LIGHTS UP when someone important to them (Mom, Dad, Grandparents, Teacher) appreciates something they did or said? “You worked really hard on that!” “You stuck with it and didn’t give up!” “Good job!” “Thank you for sharing with your brother/sister. You are really sweet to her/him.” “Thank you for being a good listener.” “You were so kind to that little boy/girl at the playground today by asking him/her to play with you. Thank you. I believe you really cheered him/her up today.!”
Train Your Children in Appreciation
Proverbs 22:6: Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.
How do you train your child to have a heart of appreciation? How do you train your child to have a heart of appreciation? You teach by example. The place to start is their heart. Does your child have appreciation for themselves? Not pride, but do they know their value to God and in the family – especially to you? Your children will be more apt to freely give appreciation to others when they feel and know appreciation about/for themselves from others…starting at home.
As an example: Maybe you struggled growing up, with the concept of knowing your own value within your family. Maybe appreciation wasn’t given to you often leaving you feeling unlovable and / or unloved. . If you rarely show appreciation for your children, they may begin to doubt their worth. Your child may wonder, “Mom and Dad love me, don’t they? Maybe I am not good since they never tell me I did a good job, or tell me thank you. They never ask me what I think about anything! They love me, right?” This conversation with yourself is called “self-talk”.
Over time, this kind of self talk and doubt may lead to feelings of unworthiness. But….What if you, mom and dad, did just the opposite? What if you took the time to notice your children by saying thank you for things they do, praising them for working hard on their homework or household chores, letting them take part in a family decision, acknowledging them when they treat others respectfully. Your child will “catch” that they are appreciated and also will catch the appreciation of others. If they get appreciation, they are more likely to know how to give appreciation.
Something to do this month!
Since it is November and we are fast approaching Thanksgiving, let’s start an “Appreciation Jar” at the house! Each night at dinner or before your child/children go to bed, have them write, (or you may write it if they are too young) something to slip into the “Appreciation Jar” . Ask your child, “tell me something or someone you appreciated today.” (May need to read the definition of appreciation to them – see above). Have them write it on a slip of paper (if they are old enough) and place it in the “Appreciation Jar” . Make one jar for each member of the family, including you – mom and dad! Then on Thanksgiving, take time reading everyone’s slips of paper in their “Appreciation Jar”, throughout the day.
If you like, you may ask each family member to pick one or two people they appreciated and have them write a note/card of appreciation to them and mail it/ hand it to them.
These two activities will teach your child to pay attention throughout their day and to be on the lookout for blessings AND how to show appreciation for others!
Show your appreciation towards God!
Will you take some time and tell the Lord what you appreciate about Him.
Psalm 100:4 Enter his gates with thanksgiving and his courts with praise; give thanks to him and praise his name.
Here is mine: Father, thank you for loving me unconditionally. Thank you that I can declare Psalm 139:14! For many years I did not consider myself worthy, but you have healed that in my heart. Thank you that I can declare that I am fearfully and wonderfully made and I now know it full well! I appreciate that you changed my heart and healed the hurt within me so I may know this is truth!
Show your appreciation to your children!
Will you sit with your kids one night and share what you appreciate about them ?
Here is mine: My sweet boys, I appreciate how you love the Lord! My prayer has always been that you love God with all your heart, soul and mind – and you do! I appreciate how you are never embarrassed to show me affection openly in front of your peers. I appreciate how you take time for me.
Ya’ know, it really doesn’t take that much effort to express appreciation, does it? Make the effort towards your kids. If you were never appreciated as a kid, it hurts you now to realize the impact of that loss, and you need to speak to someone, we are here!