Affection
Expressing care and closeness through physical touch and through words such as ” I love you” or “I care about you.” Romans 16:16, Mark 10:16
A Worthy Goal: (a little “Truth in Love” from TBI)
Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage and family until your children and friends envy your relationship and want what you have…. “faith expressing itself in love” – Galatians 5:6.
Lovebirds, twitterpated, smitten, infatuated, in love… Did you know that love doesn’t have to stop there – that it can be a lot better? Love can be deepened and widened to be more than we ever imagined. Let’s take some time this week to talk about Affection.
Have a great week!
Sincerely, Dave Lewis
Be intentional about setting aside a few minutes this week or planning a date night to discuss Affection together.
Husband, would you lead this time by reviewing the statements to be completed or questions being asked so that you know how to make the most of your time? When you are ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time with your wife.
As you use this tool – the 52-Week Plan – be sure to make some of the Marriage Staff Meetings fun to lighten things up a bit.
LOVE SPEAK… Light Source #1: Fresh Encounters with Jesus Christ
Consider Jesus’ feelings in these situations in His life:
- Meeting with the teachers of the law in the synagogue when he was 12…
- Seeing the money changers desecrating His Father’s house of prayer…
- Praying over Jerusalem knowing that most rejected Him…
- Celebrating the faith of a Roman centurion who actually “got it”…
- Blessing little children who wanted to be close to Him…
Please consider John 13:34 where Jesus commanded that we love “one another as He loved us”. Would you quietly, before God ask Him to let you feel / know some of the depth of His love for you? I am not talking about how others love you or even how much or little you love (healthy, not selfish) yourself. Ephesians 3: 16-19 and John 17:23 may help us “get it” more deeply. You are loved…you might as well accept God’s love, enjoy being loved, and give His love away. That IS God’s plan for you and me!
Light Source #2: Frequent Experiences in the Word (Do The Book)
Let’s Do: John 13: 34-35
34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
1. What drew you to each other at the start of your relationship and/or who was responsible for introducing you?
2. In your family of origin how comfortable were/are they about being affectionate (using the definition above) and how was affection shown?
3. What is “non-sexual touching” and how do/could you incorporate it into a marriage? How would showing affection through appropriate touch and saying “I love you” benefit the relationship? Occasionally or more often, try looking into each others eyes and perhaps hold hands or embrace, as you say, “I love you”. Any difference in the feel of it?
4. Considering the ways and frequency of your displays of affection, do you have confidence that your spouse knows you love him/her or just hopes you do?
Light Source #3: Other Jesus Followers – Have Real Fellowship with Your Spouse
Besides answering the questions in Light Source #2 above and discussing the answers with your spouse, please ask the question below, listen well to the answer, and respond in an affectionate, caring way.
5. a. How can I show you more clearly that I love you in ways that help you know it more often, more deeply?
b. What difference does it make to your spouse, your kids, friends, and those outside your family if you do a great job or mediocre job of loving each other? Basically, what difference does it make if you and your spouse live John 13: 34-35 in your home?
34 “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
What About the Kids? They have “needs” too!
1. How have your expressions of affection changed toward your children over time? Can your children tell that you love them or do you think they would have to guess whether or not you truly love them?
2. Would you invest a few minutes of your time in thinking through how affection was shown to you in your childhood, and how that impacts the ways you show affection to your child(ren)? Are adjustments needed that would help you communicate more clearly to your child(ren) that you love them?