Acceptance Recently one of my grandchildren was acting in an “unacceptable fashion” when I heard one of the parents say, “You may not speak that way to your brother!” That parent went on to stop the bad behavior and correct the situation but not ridicule the misbehaving child. Acceptance doesn’t mean giving in and giving a person over to any and all behavior. Neither does it mean communicating to others that loving kindness will only come to them when they behave the way you dictate. True acceptance means that we communicate love to another regardless of their behavior and let them know we care about them and want them even in those times when their behavior is imperfect. Even in discussing unacceptable behavior, acceptance can be shown and explained to children and to adults, but that may take some practice. Yes?
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Acceptance
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12)Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Acceptance)
Acceptance is a sense of belonging, feeling welcomed, having favor in someone’s sight. Have you ever wondered if you were fully accepted by God? I mean really? You know the thoughts I mean – those very secret thoughts that only you and God know. But have you ever asked yourself, “How could God accept me for who I am? I had this thought yesterday about so and so and it was UGLY!” OR…”I did this today and I know I shouldn’t have.” You may wonder sometimes, after examining your own thoughts and actions, if God could possibly accept or love you unconditionally, completely! He does though…
Being loved unconditionally and accepted with a positive favorable response does not mean that bad behavior or evil, ugly thoughts are OK or that they are ignored. On the contrary, even though God knows them all – good, bad, ugly or beautiful, He still loves us and doesn’t throw us away. He is working in us to conform us to the image of His Son Jesus Christ. Powerfully, our thoughts, emotions, and behavior are all being changed to reflect Christ. Philippians 1:6 says it well: “being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
Please stop for a moment and meditate on how Jesus accepts us even though our behavior and thoughts have been far from perfect. Also, remember the progress you have made toward being conformed to Christ and thank God and some other people for the impact their teaching, example, kindness, love, and acceptance have had on you personally. Would you please?
Throughout the Bible we read of how God loves us unconditionally. Our problem may be that we often measure love and acceptance by human standards, but God does not do things by our earthly, conditional, temporary model. Wouldn’t you say that loving someone unconditionally goes hand-in-hand with accepting them? I am not sure if it is possible to accept someone fully if you do not love them.
Would you spend some time in your Bible and just search through scripture jotting down verses that speak of God’s unconditional love and acceptance of you? Here are a few to get you started:
Romans 8:35 Psalm 136;2 Romans 9: 38-39
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Acceptance is expressed when you fully accept someone without conditions. You love them for who they are. Acceptance has no conditions on it. You either accept a person for who they are or you do not. If you put conditions on someone, that is not full acceptance of them. Instead you speak to them, though not necessarily with words, “If you do this, this and this, THEN I will love and accept you.”
Have you ever experienced having to jump hoops in order to feel loved and accepted by someone? It is an awful experience, isn’t it? You are left feeling not good enough. Is it possible that you might communicate this same thought to your spouse if they don’t meet your expectation about something? For example: Suppose you expect a certain behavior from your spouse when you come home at night and don’t receive it. You might say something like, ” We used to have time together when you came home from work, but now I am lucky if I get a kiss hello.” Though this may be a true statement, you may not be considering that your spouse had a rough day or doesn’t feel well. At times we put pressure on our spouse to behave the way we expect rather than consider their situation and needs.
What if you took a minute and asked your spouse, “Honey…are we OK? What is going on in your life? Do you need help? We don’t get to spend much time together anymore, and I miss you. Maybe you need more time and I want to help you.
I think your spouse might melt! haha! Yes! Acceptance! Meeting and understanding another person right where they are!
Light Source #3 God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with your spouse: “the light of the world”. Matthew 5:14
It is freeing when you are fully accepted! You don’t have to “be” or “do” anything in order to know you are loved! You can just be you! You are understood. You feel secure. You can be who God created you to be and know you are loved just the way God made you!
When you and your spouse are alone and intimate…your body, soul and mind are loved by your spouse unconditionally, you feel accepted when you can be naked before your spouse without a care in the world! That’s freedom! That’s acceptance!
When you can share your true feelings and thoughts with your spouse and know you won’t receive judgment or condemnation. That’s freedom! That’s acceptance!
When you can act silly with each other and just laugh with no embarrassment. That’s freedom! That’s acceptance!
When you don’t act or speak perfectly with one another but you know you will be understood and loved. That’s freedom! That’s acceptance!
Don’t you desire a safe, secure haven in your home for you and your spouse? Maybe you don’t always feel freedom with your spouse. Maybe you don’t always feel acceptance. The way to ensure freedom with your spouse is to communicate openly and honestly with one another, in love, and to know you are always FOR one another. That is acceptance, my friends.
I think our theme for the 52 Week Plan will be
You Have to do the Work! In all of the Relational Needs, this rings true! Don’t forget you are not working alone. Jesus accepts you and your spouse and wants you two to receive and give His acceptance to one another. Sound like a plan?