Affection: Expressing care and closeness through physical touch and through words such as “I love you” or “I care about you.” (Romans 16:16. Mark 10:16)
Have you ever heard the song, “Give a Little Bit of Your Love to Me” by Supertramp from the late 70’s? (You “young ones” may not have – but you can Google it! 😉 Do you ever try to get/take a little love from your spouse?? You know, try to kiss them all of the time, hold their hand, hug them randomly?? You may have a higher need for affection than your spouse, and it may seem to your spouse at times that you are trying to TAKE their affections. In your heart, though, you know you are simply attempting to show love to your spouse. Can you see a potential conflict brewing here??
A large part of marriage is understanding our spouse’s true needs, then freely giving to meet those needs. You might feel totally fulfilled when your spouse meets your high-priority need for affection, but your wife/husband may not feel the same if this is not one of his/her top needs.
Let’s take a deeper look into understanding the need for affection.
Jesus – The Light of the World
(Jesus Meets Our Need For Affection)
Affection may not be your top need, but we all need affection on some level. Without feeling loved we would not thrive in this world. Babies that do not receive affection, love, and touch, often fail to thrive. The need for affection is “built in” by our Creator!
When Jesus walked this earth He often showed affection to those He encountered. The woman at the well, the leper, the sick, His disciples, His family (mother and siblings). He loved, touched, hugged and shared emotion with them in their day and He still does today!
When have you felt the affection of The Father? In time of grief, joy, hurt, confusion, or sin? Yes, our Father reaches from the heavens and shows us great affection through His Word, connecting with us in worship, by His Spirit, and via His own children in our time of need. He is a beautiful, loving, affectionate Father!
Remember what I wrote above about “taking” affection? Your Heavenly Father will never take your affection, friend. Though He freely gives it, He will never take it from you. He loves us too much, and He wants us to give freely to Him. That is true love, not forced love. True love is what He seeks.
Walk in the Light of His Word/Do the Book
Let’s do: Romans 12:10b: Honor one another above yourselves.
What does “honor” mean?
Honor: Hold in high regard, with great respect, with great esteem.
We show honor to our spouse when we take the time to find out what our spouse needs. For this week’s plan, let’s find out how your spouse wants his/her need for affection met. Remember your spouse may receive affection quite differently from you.
We know that we can’t take affection, but would you really want to take it anyway? Wouldn’t you rather have your spouse give to you freely on his/hers terms. You may have a very high need for affection and your spouse may have a low need so to avoid any potential conflicts or unintentional hurt have that conversation with one another this week!
Husband’s/Wives, the point is to find out what your spouse needs and do your best to meet that need in the way she/he receives it. It takes practice but I have full confidence in you! 🙂
You And I Are “The Light of the World” – Jesus Said So.
Would you start this week sitting down with your spouse to have an honest conversation about affection? How do you receive it? How does your spouse want you to meet their need for affection ? What communicates love to you? If affection is one of your high priorities, do you know why? Is it something you missed in your early life?
Do not feel guilty or ashamed to have needs! God made us ALL needy! If we were not a needy being, we would never realize we need HIM! Understanding one another’s needs is a sure way to build a strong, healthy marriage. A fun one too!