Ever overheard someone talking about you – good or bad? Which one feels most like Approval? Obviously, being commended by someone helps us feel valued and approved. Ever been speaking to someone about a person and that person walked up about that time? Could be awkward if it is criticism and wonderful if the conversation was approving. Each of us needs to know we have value because we actually do have value. Maybe this week we could practice approving of others and help remove aloneness.
In this email, you’ll find the “Need of the Week”, which highlights one of the Top Ten Relational Needs.
Our “LOVE(Speak)” section contains five questions crafted to enhance communication as a couple. While you’re at it, don’t forget to check out our “Q4K” section, offering questions to use as you talk about these relational tools with your kids!
We have also included some “Getting Started” suggestions if you need a little direction as you begin.
Please don’t hesitate to let us know if you have any questions or suggestions for us!
The TBI Ministries Team
Getting Started
Be intentional about setting aside a few minutes this week or planning a date night to discuss Approval together.
Husband, would you lead this time by reviewing the statements to be completed or questions being asked so that you know how to make the most of your time? When you are ready, please initiate a “LOVE(Speak)” time with your wife.
Need of the Week
Approval (Blessing)
Building up or affirming another person, particularly for who they are (as opposed to what they do); affirming both the fact and the importance of our relationship with another person.
Ephesians 4:29; Mark 1:11
LOVE(Speak)
1. How does (would) it feel to overhear someone bragging (not ragging) on you, or commending you to someone else?
2. When did you last express to your spouse that he/she has qualities that you admire? What qualities in your spouse’s life do you admire?
(honesty, neatness, organizational skills, kindness, gentleness, discipline, fun, affectionate, assertive, quiet, diligent, loving, etc.)
3. When people write references for you, what characteristics do they list? What character qualities do you wish others would write about you in the future, if a reference were required? What reputation do you want to have?
4. Appreciation and Approval differ in that appreciation may be given for things you do (work hard, help with the housework, manage finances, listen well, cook, mow, etc) whereas approval refers to the qualities you possess (servant-heart, giving, kind, respectful, etc). Would you make a list of 3 items under these two differing categories that are things you appreciate and qualities you admire or approve in your spouse?
Appreciation Approval
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
_____________________ _____________________
5. Would you find an appropriate time and place (at bedtime, over a meal, in the car, on a date) in the next few days to tell your spouse some things he/she does that you appreciate and qualities they possess that make them a blessing to your life and to others – showing approval?
Q4K: Yours or Others’
1. As parent(s) discuss with one another and other parents what qualities you hope to see in your children? List as many as you wish.
2. What are ways you can help foster the development of the character and qualities you listed for your children?
3. What attributes do you see/have you seen in your children that lead you to believe that each has great potential for future success in life? Does each child know you approve of him/her and have you told them, “I am so grateful that you are my child.” No need to connect the comment to a recent behavior. Approval is letting them know that they are blessings and enrich your life just because they are in it.