Are you confident that your spouse knows how deeply you care? Are you working towards knowing your spouse, communicating to him or her that you want to be a friend, not just a “partner”? Let’s take a few minutes to discuss an essential ingredient in a healthy marriage: Affectionate Care.
In this email, you’ll find the “Ingredient of the Week”, which highlights one of the four essentials for a healthy marriage.
Our “LOVE(Speak)” section contains five questions crafted to enhance communication as a couple. While you’re at it, don’t forget to check out our “Q4K” section, offering questions to use as you talk about these relational tools with your kids!
We have also included some “Getting Started” suggestions if you need a little direction as you begin.
Please don’t hesitate to let us know if you have any questions or suggestions for us!
The TBI Ministries Team
Getting Started
Be intentional about setting aside a few minutes this week or planning a date night to discuss Affectionate Care together.
Husband, would you lead this time by reviewing the statements to be completed or questions being asked so that you know how to make the most of your time? When you are ready, please initiate a “LOVE(Speak)” time with your wife.
Ingredient of the Week
Affectionate Care
“I care about you.”
“I want to be your friend.”
Enemy – Unresolved Pain in the Relationship
LOVE(Speak)
1. Who is your best friend? What makes that person such a good friend?
2. What is something that you have done for your spouse that helps you communicate that you care deeply for him/her?
3. Discuss examples of times when you noticed that your spouse has prioritized your relationship over other events or people. (What are some commonly occurring events or instances that seem to cause conflict or at least tension about making family/spouse a higher priority?)
4. Is there anything from your past, some sort of “unresolved pain”, either as a couple or before you knew each other, that is keeping you from being as close to your spouse as you could be? Does he/she know that past issues are at play in the present?
5. Think about other couples that you know… Do any of them seem to be especially good at being friends? If you feel like you could use some help in this area, ask them if they would share some of their “secrets” with you. If you need deeper help, your church or a counselor may be able to assist you.
Q4K
Ask your “Child(ren) of Focus” to tell you about the times when they feel especially cared for and loved. If some ideas are needed to help them answer the question, you could read the following list:
- When we snuggle during story-time…
- When you read to me…
- When you help me feel better after I fall or get hurt.
- When my feelings are hurt and you let me know I am important…
- When you come to my special events and I see you in the crowd…
- When you cook my favorite meal…
- When you take me out for a special date…
- When you listen well and look at me when we talk…
When you discover things that help your child(ren) know you care, they may help you find other things to do that promote care in your relationship.