Encouragement: Urging to persist and persevere in their efforts to attain their goals; stimulating others toward love and good deeds. (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 10:24)
When our son was young he played soccer. I think he was maybe 8 at the time. Games were fun, and the kids were learning how to play; so needless to say, they made some pretty funny moves while on the field.
I remember this one particular boy on my son’s team. His parents came to every game and practice. Instead of shouting encouraging words to his son, this dad shouted AT him. He just “tore him up” with his words, and this boy would be in tears at every game. This dad had very high expectations for his son as a soccer player, and when the son didn’t or couldn’t meet those expectations, dad let him know how he felt about it in a very negative way. This boy was not allowed to just have fun and be like the other kids on his team. I can imagine he might have felt so much pressure to perform well.
I wonder what this boy is like today – as a man. I wonder if his dad’s behavior carried over into his home and not just on the field. I pray not, but if it did, I can imagine this now man being very hard on himself every time he doesn’t meet his own or other’s expectations. I wonder what his relationship might be with his dad today.
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Encouragement
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12) Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus. (Encouragement)
Have you ever felt “shouted AT” by the world? My guess would be you would say “sure” at some point in your life. I bet your kids have too. Your kids can feel beaten down by the words and expectations put on them by other kids, teachers, coaches….and perhaps even you. I believe we don’t intend to ever “shout AT” our kids, but it is when an expectation is not met, that is when the temptation to “shout AT” your child comes into play.
As I recall, I don’t think Jesus ever went on a tirade against His disciples. He did drive the money changers out of His Father’s house (temple). He did correct the disciples at time, but yelling and screaming were not Jesus’ style. On the other hand, can you recall how Jesus treated people who “fell short” of expectations? He was gentle, kind, truthful, caring, and helpful to them.
How about Jesus’ responses to you? Have you ever felt the Lord encourage you? Maybe you can share that time with your child if they are needing some encouragement or if your experience is similar to theirs. I bet that conversation will be an encouragement to you both! You will remember the Lord and his goodness to you during your difficult time, and your child will experience a piece of your heart and see what the Lord has done, hopefully giving them encouragement too.
Would you then pray for and with them? Bring them to The Father you share and ask God to give your child encouragement. Share a scripture or two with them as well. This is a perfect time to remind them how much you love them and are thankful for them.
Your child may feel the world “shout AT” them, but they will feel comfort and encouraged at home!
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Let’s do: Proverbs 16:24 Pleasant words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones.
God has a lot to say in His Word about our words. Our words have a great impact on our children. Would you be sure to remember to speak encouraging words as sweet as honey and as simple as possible to your child, especially when they are in need of a bit of encouragement? Would you set aside time this week to look up scriptures that deal with our words? Would you especially ask God to speak to your heart about how your own words have been spoken to your children? Maybe you have spoken sharply to your kids, when you were tired or not feeling well. If God reveals something you said that might not have been the most uplifting, would you talk to your child about it, admit your wrong, and ask forgiveness? They may have been carrying around the hurt from your words. How sweet and healing the words “Would you forgive me” will be to your child’s soul.
Here are some verses to get you started: Prov. 25:11 Eph. 4:29 1 Thes. 5:11 Matt. 15:18
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with your children: “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
The home should be your child’s safe place. A place they know they are accepted and loved no matter what. Please remember to be purposeful to ensure that your home IS that kind of home for your children. Life gets busy and that’s OK as long as the assurance to your children doesn’t get lost in that busyness.
Sometimes we have to try and put ourselves into the world of our child. What are they experiencing at their age? Toddler, Teen, adult children…what might be going on in their world and how can you encourage them in it? The very fact that you seek to BE IN their world is often encouragement enough! It speaks, “I love you! I care what is happening in your life. You are important to me!” to your kids. Share yourself with your kids…doing things that they love. Talk to them at a level they can grasp for their age. Encourage them, be there for them no matter what. Your home will absolutely be that SAFE place!
Try this: If you still have children at home or if you have access to your adult children’s apartment or home during a time when you visit (don’t break in – please), just simply go into their room (bedroom if your kids are still at home/favorite room of your adult children) and just observe. See what they see, notice what is important to them, listen to sounds they would hear in that room. You may find a new way to identify with your child or discover how to communicate encouragement.