Relationships are based on knowing and being known, right? Can you really say what you “know” about your loved one or what they “know” about you? One indicator to this question is, do you know what he/she enjoys? Does he/she know what you enjoy? This is key to relationship building!
When you were young, did you have a parent that entered your world? What I mean is, did your mom/dad do what you like? An example is, If you loved baseball, did your mom/dad support you by showing up to your games or practicing with you? Did you feel your mom/dad were genuinely interested in your game?
Maybe, your mom/dad took you along for something he/she enjoyed. Maybe he/she enjoyed bowling and took you to play along with them. Though great to be included, it was not a time when he/she entered your world, but a time you entered theirs. Can you see the difference?
It is often easier for us to invite others into our world. We are comfortable there. We know the ins and outs of it, but it may not be what our loved one feels the most comfortable in. By entering the world of our loved one often means we step out of our comfort zone.
Attention: Conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care; taking notice of others and making an effort to enter into their respective worlds. (1 Corinthians 12:25 NASB)
Did you receive attention growing up? What about now? Do you have it? Do you give it to others? A relationship can’t survive without knowing one another’s worlds! It can’t be, “All about me!” It has to be, “How can I be what my loved one needs!”
In a relationship, can he/she say they feel safe with you? Does he/she feel respected, secure, loved and supported? If the answer is yes, it means he/she feels known by you! That is an achievement of a major relationship goal!!!
Your relationships may include being a parent, spouse, sibling, co-worker, neighbor, friend, acquaintance or stranger. You can enter the world of each.
Take notice, (What is happening around you/them?)
Ask questions. (How are you today? Any plans for the weekend?)
Show concern.(I see you are struggling with_______________, How may I help?)
Be available. (I am here to listen. What do you need?)
Can you say to your loved ones, “Hey! I know you!” Can they say the same for you? If your answer is “yes”…wonderful! If not, you may want to start some real conversations with them. “What do you need? How may I help? Tell me some things you really enjoy. What are you dealing with right now? Start a conversation with questions about THEM!
Fresh Encounters with Jesus:
How has Jesus entered your world physically? Spiritually?
Thank Him in prayer for coming to live among us and for coming to live inside you by Holy Spirit!
Do the Book:
Address any division in a key relationship by making sure the other person knows you care. Ask good questions such as the ones in the paragraphs above, then use hints or clues to discover what makes them feel loved.
Have Real Fellowship:
Over coffee or a meal, talk about what you discovered about them and how much you want to know them more deeply. Pray for and with them asking God to pour His love through you to them.