Comfort Caringly responding to a hurting person through words, actions, emotional responses, and physical touch; hurting with and for others in the midst of their grief or pain. (Romans 12: 15 NASB; Matthew 5:4: 2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
Comfort for Those Without a Relationship with Jesus
All three of our children played sports. We so enjoyed going to their ballgames. When they played basketball, there were a few phrases they heard me say often as they were learning to move the ball down the court. Interestingly each one played one of the guard positions. Those who know a little about basketball realize how important it is for the guard to “keep your head up.”
There is a tendency to pay more attention to dribbling the ball than where you are going with the ball. And too often, if the guard is not paying attention and not keeping his/her head up, there is a trap waiting as a few defenders try to trap the guard and get the ball. Watching a player steal the ball and break away for an easy layup or dunk is exciting, IF your team is the one doing the scoring.
Isn’t it true that we, many times, don’t really know the spiritual condition of those with whom we work, go to school, or have as neighbors? And I know it may not even be possible to accurately assess their spiritual condition. So what if we “keep our head up” and “our eyes open to our surroundings” and simply look for ways to show God’s love to neighbors, co-workers, class-mates, friends, relatives, etc? Perhaps God would allow us the privilege to pray for and care for others on the way to sharing the Good News of Jesus Christ with them.
Comforting others when they are hurt, in a difficult situation, disappointed or discouraged seems to be one of the most powerful ways to care for another human being. Rather than write an entirely new 52 Week Plan experience, I thought I would edit “Hey, Your Not Gonna’ Eat That, Are You?” from last week and direct our thoughts toward paying particular attention to keeping our eyes open for ways to comfort others — in the family of faith or outside the family of faith. I think that covers just about everyone we will meet. ☺
So a simple question to ask yourself and attempt to answer posed in this installment of the 52-Week Plan is this one: “When I am hurt, sad or disappointed, how would ignoring me or being critical of my situation help me know God’s love? Another question: Would I stand a better chance of learning to love God and others well if someone showed real love and understanding to me on the way to helping me find a solution…if there is a solution?
Walking in the Light of Jesus: How did Jesus deal with His sadness and hurt?
When checking into the life of Jesus Christ, what did He do when people came to Him with sadness and pain? Think of two or three examples of people who came to Him in a bad condition? (Woman caught in adultery, the leper, the crippled brought to Jesus on a mat.) (Maybe use another example this week….someone in scripture who was not in the family of faith when their need for comfort became obvious to Jesus.)
If you consider the woman caught in adultery, what do you recall was Jesus’ attitude toward her? John 8:1-11 reveals the story. When this woman was brought to Jesus, did He lecture her about her sin? Did He give her counsel on how not to be adulterous any more? Did he neglect or ignore her? No, Jesus addressed the accusers, then he comforted her by letting her know He did not condemn her, and finally He gave her a clear direction to stop the choices she had made before. He loved her and cared deeply for her restoration and future life.
Can you recall a time when you were not yet in the family of faith but you were in need of comfort because of a tragedy or tough time in your life? Did any comfort or help come from Christians during this time? Did anyone offer real comfort to you?
Would you consider a time when you, not unlike the woman caught in adultery, were caught in a sin that broke the heart of God? When you came to your senses and returned to God for forgiveness, how were you greeted? Were you ridiculed by Jesus, ignored or lectured? My guess is that you were not. My guess based on experience is that you were heard, accepted, forgiven, and restored. My guess is that you were comforted in the presence of God’s Son feeling His mercy, forgiveness, and love. He comforted you.
Would you spend some time in God’s presence worshiping Him for His reaction to you when you deserved to be ignored, lectured, punished, and sent away?
Perhaps you know of someone in your sphere of influence, who has done some awful things to sin against God and who some feel deserves to be shunned. Maybe he/she needs to know that the real Jesus loves, forgives, and restores. Maybe God’s comforting you in earlier days has set you in a place to give that same healing comfort to another by kindness, a listening ear, an accepting word or an embrace. See 2 Corinthians 1:3-4
As the woman caught in adultery needed the comfort of Jesus, perhaps a friend of yours, also in a bad situation, may need to receive God’s comfort directly from you on the way to experiencing God’s comfort directly.
Walking in the Light of God’s Word – Do the Book!
Let’s Do the Book – Matthew 5:4 Blessed are those who mourn for they shall be comforted.
Mourn with Jesus:
In your heart would you take a moment to join Jesus alone with His Father, who is also your Father God? Beside Jesus, there on your knees or lying prostrate on the ground, would you tell your Father the hurt you are feeling, the pain you carry, and the disappointment you’ve experienced? Would you hear God say to you how much He loves you, cares about your pain, and will be with you in that pain though the pain may not go away yet?
Mourn with a friend:
Would you offer to a friend (whether or not he/she is a Christ-follower) a listening ear and a sympathetic response when he/she talks to you about disappointment, pain, and hurt? The comfort you give to a fellow believer in Christ by listening and caring (versus lecturing or ignoring) may be the most powerful way to show love to another and for them to feel loved by someone else. Remember, “people don’t care how much you know, until they know how much you care” applies to others even though they may know Jesus as Savior already. Too few people have seen this side of Jesus’ loving heart displayed in the response from another Christian. 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 is very clear.
Walk in the Light of Fellowship with Believers
Recently, a Christian friend of mine noticed that I was down, sad, and uncharacteristically quiet. I sorta’ expected my friend to judge me, after all I am an ordained minister and the head of a ministry endeavor. I was “in a bit of a hole” emotionally and had allowed some stinkin’ thinkin’ to take over too much space in my thoughts. Rather than lecture me, remind me that “I knew better” and that I should “practice what I preach”….all of which is true, my friend showed sorrow for my struggle and caringly offered to listen. I vented and said out loud what was in my sad heart. After this we spent time just talking, decompressing, and eventually we prayed together.
We had an experience of true friendship, as we experienced this scripture in Galatians 6:2 – “Bear ye one another’s burdens and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
Would you ask God to show you a person (even a stranger) who needs to experience some caring comfort? Get really proficient at giving comfort by practicing these two Questions and Answers with your family. They need comfort too. Though we often think of comfort being given to a person who is hurting, I believe that a person is comforted, when someone is able to celebrate a significant, happy event alongside him/her. (Romans 12:15 a and b) So let’s get some practice by asking these questions of our spouse, child, or non-family friend, even if you don’t know any significant situations that need comfort.
Question 1: Would you tell me something that happened today that made you happy or helped you feel really good? Response to Question 1: Listen well and when appropriate say something like, “I am so happy that happened to you!” or “It makes me happy to know that it made you happy!” You might give them a “fist bump” or a “high five” or a big hug.
Question 2: Would you tell me something that happened today that made you sad or was not such a good thing? Response to Question 2: Listen well and when appropriate say something like, “I am so sad that happened to you.” Or “It makes me sad to see you sad and hurt in this way.” Perhaps touching them or holding them would be a good way to express comfort.
Caution: Please do not attempt to make these kinds of connections with another person’s wife or husband. Men, it may be better that you put yourself in a position to offer comfort to another man. Ladies,… with ladies.
Last Question: This one is for you and your spouse to discuss.
Question 3: 1. Would you describe what differences might be made if in a work or church environment, comfort was given as needed and people felt safe to be able to get their pain out in the open knowing it would be handled well? 2. Have you seen a workplace or church environment that was healthy in this way? Describe what results you’ve experience in healthy and unhealthy work or church settings?
As we learn to give comfort in our family and in our circle of believers, we’ll get better at recognizing the need and knowing what to do for others outside our family….even outside the family of faith.