Security(Peace): Establishing and maintaining harmony in our relationships and providing freedom from fear or threat of harm through expressions of vulnerability, deepening of trust, and the successful resolution of conflict. (Romans 12:16,18)
Does your spouse feel secure?? Maybe your spouse worries about the finances and the future seems uncertain. Maybe your spouse stresses when status quo is challenged by change – such as a transfer, a financial hit, or children leaving the nest. Maybe they just need the support of friends and family. There are many things that can bring on insecurity.
Do you know how to meet your spouse’s need for Security??
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – What is it that makes him or her feel secure?
Let’s learn how to help our mate Experience Security
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12)
Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus.
How has God met your need for security? Can you recall a time when finances were unsure or a change in “normal” life left you feeling afraid or alone? How has God been there for you? How did He meet your need for security?
I can give you a personal example of God meeting a need for security. In 1991 my husband lost his job. I was 8 months pregnant with our second child. He was without work for almost a year. We had many times when our refrigerator was empty and we wondered how we would meet our family’s needs. ( When you look in the refrigerator and the shelves are bare, feeling insecure is a reality.) One day during a snowstorm in New Jersey God came through! Our refrigerator had empty shelves and that day God brought extra food stamps to a family (very good friends of ours) in a similar situation as us. That family decided that they would use the “extra” to bless someone else…US! Each family member came to our door holding a bag of food. They filled our empty shelves with their extra! They could have easily kept the “extra” for their own family, but they decided to help my family. They did not know our need at the time, but God did.
Would you thank God for a time that He met your need for security? Maybe you are going through a time at this very moment that is leaving you to feel insecure in your marriage, job or an important decision you are trying to make. Take time to ask God to give you peace and security.
Does God care about your needs? Yes He does!
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Let’s do: Ephesians 5:33 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.
Most women, not all, will feel secure in a marriage relationship when her husband loves her unconditionally. When he takes time to really listen and care for her needs. When he puts his wife’s needs above his own.
Most men, again not all, will feel secure in the marriage when his wife shows him respect. When his wife includes him in decision making. When she speaks kindly of him openly in front of others. When she allows him to lead her and the family and really listens to him, his security level can sky-rocket!
Both the husband and wife should always look for opportunities to GIVE to their partner. The world will tell us we should focus on what we GET, but God tells us otherwise. That is clear in Ephesians 5:22-33.
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with your Spouse: “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
Are you certain that your spouse feels secure? What I mean is, are you meeting that need in him/her? The need will look different for different people even if you both have a high need for security.
Why not take your sweetie on a date this week and talk about it! Here are some conversation starters on security…..
“Tell me what you feel about our finances? Are you comfortable with how we are doing as a couple? Tell me some financial goals that you would like us to achieve together.”
“I know my schedule has been crazy, how has that affected you?” (Ask for forgiveness if your spouse has felt slighted by your schedule) Or…”Honey, you have been working so hard, but I would really like us to spend more time together. Can we make more date nights?”
” I see there has been tension between you and ____________, tell me about it.” (Your spouse may be feeling insecure in a work or extended family relationship. Just knowing you care will help him/her to feel secure in your relationship as husband/wife)
Sometimes the feeling of security is just in having a conversation with someone, (your spouse) who genuinely cares about the way you feel. Feeling supported often leads to feeling secure.
If heaven is a place where God’s love is experienced in unlimited measure (and I believe it is) and “Perfect love casts out fear”, and it does, then heaven will be a place of supreme security and peace. Let’s find ways to make our home “a taste of heaven”!