“How Can I Help?”

Serving: Giving up oneself in caring ministry to another / others. (Galatians 5:13)

Have you ever taken The 5 Love Languages test? “Acts of service” is one of those love languages. Comedians often joke about how wives react if their husbands vacuum or do the dishes. “Oh honey! You are speaking my love language!” Followed by hugs and kisses!!

I am not saying to serve your husband/wife with selfish motives. Serve him/her simply to bring joy! Joy in the home means a happier home, doesn’t it? Happiness may not be a constant state of being, but it sure is nice to live happily whenever we can and it’s legal. 

“Being served”may not speak your love language. That’s OK, but if it speaks to your wife’s/husband’s language, get well-versed in that language! Whether or not it is your or their “love language”, serving another reflects the character of Jesus Christ, who came to “serve and not be served“.

When you are in a relationship (marriage, friendship, others in your circle of influence), find ways to serve in that relationship. Become a great detective and look for ways you can pick up some of the load without being asked. Be thinking, “How can I help?” Or ask Jesus, “ Please show me how I can help __________(name)?“

When you start changing your thoughts/actions to become more serving, your heart begins to change. Kindness and love replace “it’s all about me!” Do dishes, fold the laundry, help with a project, pick up toys, or make up a bed. (By the way, serving is a great quality to teach to your children. Lead by example.) Find ways that you can offer to lighten someone’s load. 

In the earlier days of my marriage I had a very selfish mindset. I thought my husband was there to focus all on me, (my feelings/needs/wants). It took awhile, but God began to show me that my marriage was a partnership. Not a 50/50 partnership but a 100/100 one. Jesus led by example on how we are to treat others and one of the “others” is my husband! Even if there are times our relationships are 100/0, we are to serve as Jesus does, when He is the giver(100%) and we are the taker (0).

John 15:12 – My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 

Jesus served everyone He met. If anyone had the “right” to BE served, it was Jesus! Needless to say, I got my act together! 🤣 I began to look for ways I could serve my husband. Thirty-five years later, I still need to serve on purpose, otherwise that “selfish me” starts hanging around again.

1.  Please take a few minutes in prayer or simple meditation on how God sent Jesus to be a servant. How did Jesus serve others in His time on earth? How has Jesus served you and met your needs? 
2. Let’s DO Mark 10:45: “For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Would you look for ways to initiate serving your friend (or “enemy”) in the form of a spouse/ parent/ child/ boss/ co-worker? Surprise them and don’t ask for or expect recognition-just as Jesus serves because He loves.
3. After a few rounds of service, speak with a fellow-follower-of -Jesus about how others reacted – good, bad, ugly, neutral. How might Jesus have felt or does feel after serving us and meeting our needs. Are we thankful? Does He receive praise from us for His acts of service?