Affection
Expressing care and closeness through physical touch and through words such as ” I love you” or “I care about you.”
Romans 16:16 Mark 10:16
Lovebirds, twitterpated, smitten, infatuated, in love… Did you know that love doesn’t have to stop there – that it can be a lot better? Love can be deepened and widened to be more than we ever imagined. Let’s take some time this week to talk about Affection.
Be intentional about setting aside a few minutes this week or planning a date night to discuss Affection together.
Husband, would you lead this time by reviewing the statements to be completed or questions being asked so that you know how to make the most of your time? When you are ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time with your wife.
LOVE (Speak) —
1. What drew you to each other at the start of your relationship and/or who was responsible for introducing you?
2. In your family of origin how comfortable were/are they about being affectionate (using the definition above) and how was affection shown?
3. What is “non-sexual touching” and how do/could you incorporate it into a marriage? How would showing affection through appropriate touch and saying “I love you” benefit the relationship? Occasionally or more often, try looking into each others eyes as you say “I love you”. Any difference in the feel of it?
4. Considering the ways and frequency of your displays of affection, do you feel that your spouse knows you love him/her or would they hope you do or guess you do or think you probably do not?
5(a). The Question: Would you tell me something that happened recently that made you feel happy, special, or fulfilled?
As your spouse answers the question, be ready to “rejoice with those who do rejoice”. Romans 12:15a leads me to respond to my spouse, “I am so glad that happened to you.”
5(b). The Other Question: Would you tell me something that happened recently that made you sad, disappointed, or hurt?
As your spouse answers the question, be ready to “mourn with those who mourn”. Romans 12:15b leads me to respond to my spouse, “I am sorry that happened to you. It makes me sad to see how much that hurt you.”
What About the Kids?
1. How have your expressions of affection changed toward your children over time? Can your children tell that you love them or do you think they would have to guess whether or not you truly love them?
2. Would you invest a few minutes of your time in thinking through how affection was shown to you in your childhood, and how that impacts the ways you show affection to your child(ren)? Are adjustments needed that would help you communicate more clearly to your child(ren) that you love them?