A Story of Healing and Restoration. The Basic Idea Ministries and Great Commandment Network
We are always so excited to share true life stories of God’s redemptive grace in the lives of those that have experienced Intimate Encounters. Through the ministry environments of the Galatians 6:6 retreat in Rome GA, the Reboot Strategy in Bessemer AL, and Intimate Encounters training in their church in Hackleburg, AL, Carol and I have been privileged to watch God’s power at work in the lives of Clint and Liz Knowles. This is their story. They are the pastors of Hackleburg Community Church a congregation of the Church of God of Prophecy in Alabama. Please enjoy the story below from our friends Liz and Clint Knowles, (Used with permission and written by them)
Clint’s story: Great Commandment Network ministries and Intimate Encounters – G6 Retreat came into our lives at just the right time. We had just celebrated 25 years of marriage, had raised three wonderful children, were just a couple of years away from all of our children being in college, and had just completed the most stressful 4 year season of our life.
We met early in life. (Liz was 16, Clint was 19) We met at an international denominational gathering. It was truly love at first sight and the circumstances that caused our paths to cross were truly miraculous and ordered by God. We were an instant fit. Even though Liz was more of the talker, our friendship was founded on continuous conversation in which we both participated. We were passionate about the same things in life and conscious of the calling of God on our lives individually. We had instant love, passion and affection for each other. We often laugh about how Liz kissed me first. While it may seem funny, it was true. She knew I was the one, and I agreed!. At the time we met and went on our first date, I had just been licensed as a minister and was so nervous that her minister dad and the other ministers in her family would have my license revoked if I even held her hand!
At the beginning of our relationship we both had a “small” satchel of emotional baggage we brought with us. What we did not know was that we both had the baggage neatly folded like a huge parachute in the small satchel. In our 3 1/2 year courtship we carefully communicated, prayed and sought counsel for each of the items we had in the satchel. Both of us had an inner drive to have a relationship and marriage that was Biblically based and in unity with God’s plan for our lives. Our bond and unity was strong, but we came from two entirely different backgrounds. We discovered embarking on the journey with Intimate Encounters, our genograms ( a relationship map of our family and background) were completely different.
Clint describes his family history: My parents were in a stable relationship, but both were very reserved people, had little education but loved each other fully. There were a few times of instability, but they overcame those seasons. I have two siblings, a brother 10 years younger and a sister 18 years younger. This dynamic of younger children in the home was an interesting element and impacted my family financially. I moved on with adulthood so my parents could care for the younger children.
My father’s parents maintained a long marriage of more than 50 years. My grandfather was very unstable with jobs and never really provided much throughout their marriage and raising children. I remember my grandparents moving many times in their small shrimping town of Bayou La Batre, AL. The only memories I have of them, involve my grandfather being short-tempered and my grandmother being passive. I am told that my grandfather was abusive to my grandmother and had numerous affairs. I do not know whether it was because she was passive or forgiving that kept the marriage intact. I was more impacted by my father’s brothers both of whom were in the ministry and somewhat stable leaders in my younger years.
My mom’s parents were dedicated and devout leaders in their church. They had and still have a very committed relationship spanning more than 70 years. Slight communication issues were present, but their marriage was strong. Both were easy to talk to and often sowed into my life spiritually and financially. Because my grandmother felt called into the ministry she was a great support to me early in my journey. I had a maternal great-grandmother living until I was in my late teens. She was a consistent caregiver in my life until her passing. Her own marriage ended in divorce after only 15 years. Her husband was abusive and an alcoholic. She never remarried and raised two sons by herself.
Elizabeth (Liz) describes her family history: My family was quite different from Clint’s. I have two fathers in my genogram. My mom after 10 years of marriage had an affair with her husband’s brother, but remained married to her husband. Her husband was the dad who raised me. Their marriage was fragmented and unsettled most of my life due to marital breakdown and dad struggled with addiction issues. My parents were international leaders in our denomination. They left the ministry when I was 5. My dad turned away from God, but my mom stayed faithful to church and the Lord. After he returned to God, my parents wanted to make things right in every area of their life. I was 16 at this time. They chose to share with me who they suspected my biological father really was.
After 21 years of not knowing for sure the identity of my biological father, I finally asked for a DNA test, when I was 37 years old. All of my life there had been denial on my biological father’s side of the family. I had been so hurt and no longer wanted this to affect my emotions, family and marriage anymore. I was relieved and saddened to learn the results of the DNA test; however, ultimately, at the end of his life, restoration took place with my biological father , me, and his family. Another positive thing that happened, as a result of discovering the results of the DNA test, was the deepening of the bond among my mom, me, and the dad who raised me.
I knew very little about my grandfather, the father of my biological father or the dad who raised me. I only have memories of him being an alcoholic, who was abusive to my grandmother as well as being unfaithful. Just hours after making his confession to Christ, he passed away at age 65. My grandmother was a passive, sweet woman who taught me how to sew and cook.
My mother’s side is Hispanic, and quite opposite to my dad’s southern culture. Her parents had a very long relationship spanning over 40 years before my grandfather passed at 74. They had a strong marriage that appeared to be loving. Both of my maternal grandparents were in ministry and faithfully served in several positions in our denomination. I did not know my great grandparents on my grandfather’s side, it is my understanding they remained in Mexico. I had many interactions with my Grandmother’s mom, who knew no English. My mom’s mother taught me a lot about ministry, cooking and sewing.
What we realized had affected our marriage from studying our genograms: 1. We were from two different cultures. 2. Our family structure dynamic’s were drastically different. 3. The dynamic of marriage stability on Clint’s side was a contrast to the marriage instability on Liz’s side. 4. Our birth order, Clint being oldest, Liz being raised as an only child
When we attended our first Galatians 6:6 retreat in the spring of 2015, it had come at very good time for us. We did not realize that the “emotional baggage” parachute we had so neatly folded was about to come undone and interrupt our lives. Life, problems and tragedy will push your emotions to the limit and leave a marriage hopeless without the Father’s help. Often our responses dictated our success or failure over the challenges we have faced.
By understanding each other’s needs, we are able to express our emotions in a healthy way. Now even in the darkest of seasons. we don’t feel alone. Our past relational roadblocks – set by the negative behaviors in our family tree – are now able to be gently moved out of the way so that we can love each other fully, like originally designed and desired when we first met.
We hope you enjoyed Liz and Clint’s story! They hope that God will use their story to reach and touch others! Do you find yourself in need of guidance? Has Clint and Liz’s story touched an area in your heart that God wants you to address?
Do you have a personal story of how God used TBI or Intimate Encounters to change your life? We would love to hear it and share your story with your permission! We can share your story anonymously if you prefer!
Friends, God is moving in incredible ways. We are humbled and honored to share your stories. If we may ever serve you in any way please know we are here for you! May God bless you richly in 2017! We pray your marriage will be the best yet in 2017!!
Happy New Year!