Affection
Expressing care and closeness through physical touch and words such as “I love you” or “I care about you.” Romans 16:16 Mark 1:11
Would you think a moment about how to communicate to your spouse that you really do care about him/her? Do you consider words and/or actions he or she enjoys? Some people are fine with occasional, very private displays of affection. Others are “PDA-all the time”. Let’s take some time this week to explore how to help your spouse feel loved through meeting the need of affection. You may discover ways your spouse wants affection shown that surprise you. Let’s see!
A Worthy Goal:
Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage until your children and friends envy your relationship and want one like it.
Be intentional about setting aside a few minutes this week or planning a date night to discuss Affection together
Husband, would you lead this time by reviewing the statements to be completed or questions being asked so that you know how to make the most of your time? When you are ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time with your wife.
LOVE (Speak)
1. Did/do you have a love song that is the theme of your relationship? How would you define “being affectionate” with your spouse? Compare notes. How did you do at expressing yours and guessing hers/his?
2. What are some ways that your spouse helps you feel loved? What are the specific words/phrases or kinds of physical touch? Is there anything you’d like him/her to do more often?
3. Imagine being somewhere with your spouse and seeing an elderly couple walking together, holding hands. What does that picture bring to your mind or cause you to feel? Is that something you’d like others to see you do as you grow older?
4. How did your parents, grandparents, or couples you observed in your childhood and teen years show affection? Does that have anything to do with the way you do or don’t want affection shown to you now?
5. What are some examples of non-sexual touching that may help meet the need for affection in your spouse?
What About the Kids? Ask the kids these questions or discuss them as adults revealing what you have observed in your child(ren).
1. How does it make you feel when you hear someone say, “I love you” to you?….when Dad and Mom tell each other, “I love you”?
2. Looking into the eyes of a child and calmly saying how much you love him/her is a powerful way of communicating care. You might even take that child by the shoulders, cup their face in your hands, or hold them in your arms and say, “Daddy loves you so much and thinks you are wonderful!” (Mommy, you can do that too!)
3. In order to hear both a male and a female perspective, discuss as parents or grandparents how the children in your world seem to enjoy displays of affection. What do they like or not like? Share your observations. Learn to observe.