Comfort : Caringly responding to a hurting person through words, actions, emotional responses, and physical touch; hurting with and for others in the midst of their grief or pain.
(Romans 12: 15 NASB; Matthew 5:4: 2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
The children’s song “Hush, Little Baby, Don’t Say a Word” is not a really good way to comfort a person, but we’d like to help you know how to meet the need for comfort in some other ways. OK?
If you want to see Tim Hawkins take on the inappropriateness of that song for comforting children, take a look: https://youtu.be/atr7lYGy2Zs
Have you ever lost someone close to you to death or by abandonment? Have you lost something important – a dream, a hope, a childhood, or a reputation? Losses can leave you feeling devastated inside, empty, alone, and depressed. What happens when someone reaches out? Sunshine!!! A touch, a note, a hug, a word, a text, or a phone call can bring sunshine to the darkest time, can’t it?
Do you have someone in your life in need of comfort today? You may feel inadequate. You don’t have to have the perfect words. That is OK! In fact, you don’t need words at all. You just need to be there. A hug can say way more than words in times of needed comfort. At times, words can lead to more hurt because we may say things that don’t comfort but feel more like judgment, advice, or a sermon.
(Examples of wrong responses include but are not limited to the following: At least the situation is not terminal. This is best since God knows best. God wanted it this way. Well, better luck next time. You should pray harder next time.)
Words meant for comfort may actually cause more pain. We feel we have to have the exact thing to say to bring comfort! No! We don’t! Hug…hold a hand….keep an arm around…but don’t feel compelled to have the right words!
In my personal experience, in times that I needed comfort the most, I can tell you…..words rarely met that need. Only action has met that need. When I lost a baby, a friend coming to hold my hand spoke more comfort than anything else. When my parents died….hugs, being there, spoke comfort more than flowers, cards or words ever could.
Giving comfort can be so uncomfortable for us, but let me ask you, “If you could take yourself back to a time when you needed comfort, what brought you comfort? What didn’t? What would have been comforting even if no one did it at the time? “
When I am faced with giving comfort to others, I try to put myself in their shoes. What would I need? What would bring me comfort in this situation and moment? That is a good place to start. You may even ask him/her what is needed.
The thing is, don’t let the worry of not knowing what to say stop you from offering comfort. Say a prayer and trust God to use you at that moment. If words are needed, He will give you those words. He may just want to love them through you with a hug or tears shared together.
So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand. Isaiah 41:10
- Walk in the Light of Jesus: Jesus offered comfort to those who had suffered loss. He met physical needs, fed the hungry, opened the way to the kingdom of heaven for those feeling isolated, and cared deeply when others were in pain and experiencing loss. He will do the same today because He is the same “yesterday, today, and forever”. Oh, I know He doesn’t heal everyone we want Him too, restore every relationship we see that needs restoration, or bring every person to salvation for whom we pray. He loves us all and wants all to be saved, to have loving relationships, and to walk in health, but in this world we will have difficulty. It is the nature of a broken, lonely, sin-ravaged world, isn’t it? In the middle of it all, He is With Us – Emmanuel – God with us.
- Walk in the light of His Word – Do the Book: Isaiah 41:10 written above gives us our marching orders from the heart of a loving God. So remember when we need comfort, trust God to bring it directly via Holy Spirit or through another caring person -YOU! – II Corinthians 1:3-4
- Walk in the light of real fellowship with others: Pray and ask God to bring someone with whom you can share comfort as a good listener and an appropriate responder to “mourn with those who mourn” or “rejoice with those who rejoice”. Talk with a friend in your family, at work, or in your home about something for which you need comfort. Let them have a chance to comfort you. Or listen for clues from those experiencing loss and show them the comfort God has shown you by listening, caring, responding appropriately, and taking action to pray or check on them after the conversation.
Sometimes comforting others brings a new perspective to the pain and loss we ourselves have experienced and helps us move into a healthier place of peace with God.