Support
Coming alongside others and providing gentle, appropriate assistance with a problem or struggle. (Galatians 6:2)
Support for your Spouse….
There was a time when my husband was going through a particular stressful period in his life. He normally is a pretty laid back kind of guy and I had never seen him so stressed. I was worried about and for him. He was having meetings late into the night, coming home many nights at 2 AM. I would stay up for him because I wanted to be there for him if he needed to talk.
I never really thought anything about it, I was just really concerned for his well being. It wasn’t until long after that time passed in our lives that he shared what that meant to him.
We were talking about the Ten Relational Needs together and he said during that period in his life one of his needs was Support. At a time when the world seemed to be falling down around him, he said he knew when he came home that he was in his safe place. He said it meant so much to him knowing that I would stay awake for him when he came home late in the night.
I didn’t know I was meeting my husband’s need for Support at the time, but this is just an example of what meeting a need in your spouse looks like. Do you know your spouses needs? Are there times when he/she needs “gentle, appropriate assistance” during times of struggle or tight schedules.
Let’s Walk in the Light of Jesus – He is the Light of the World (John 9:5)
You can’t get far in the study of Jesus’ life without noticing how He supported others daily. Jesus healed the sick, cast out demons, dined with sinners, wept for his friends, taught His diciples, fed t he hungry, loved the unloveable (by the world’s standards), loved His enemies, took a beating for us, died for us, prayed for us, didn’t leave us alone after his death (He gave us the Holy Spirit); and He took what we deserved. Jesus’ life is an example of Support. He truly gave gentle, appropriate assistance as needed, didn’t He?
He asks us to do the same. In fact, He says that what we do for others it is like we are doing it to Him!
Matthew 25:35-40 35 For I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you clothed me, I was sick and you visited me, I was in prison and you came to me.’ 37 Then the righteous will answer him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you drink? 38 And when did we see you a stranger and welcome you, or naked and clothe you? 39 And when did we see you sick or in prison and visit you?’ 40 And the King will answer them, ‘Truly, I say to you, as you did it to one of the least of these my brothers, you did it to me.’
Will you thank Jesus for how He shows you support? Take time to remember the times in your life that He came and gave you the support you needed –directly.
Will you share a time in your life when God met your need for support through your spouse, and then share a time when you were God’s vessel to meet the need of support for him/her? Ask God to show you clearly the next time He wants to meet your spouse’s need for support through you and then do it in a gentle, appropriate way.
God will always use you if your heart is willing.
Let’s Walk in the Light of God’s Word – It is a Source of Light for Us (Psalm 119:105)
We are commanded to “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mark 12:31 a) Did you know that neighbor means near one? Who is the person nearest you? You wake up with them each day. You sit across the dinner table from them. You made a vow to them on your wedding day. Yes, you guessed it! Your spouse!
You remember the ol’ “W.W.J.D” (What Would Jesus Do)? When faced with a situation you should ask yourself, “What Would Jesus Do?” Now, let’s look at this for Loving your “near one” as yourself. “W.W.I.W” (What Would I Want)? When faced with a situation on how you can support your spouse ask yourself, “What Would I Want?
Of course it may be better to ask your spouse what they need to feel supported. Sounds like a great conversation for date night! Speaking of “Date Night”!
Let’s Walk in the Light of Real Fellowship with Our Spouse – We are the Light of the World, Too. (Matthew 5: 14)
Galatians 6:2 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Isn’t it wonderful to be able to come to your spouse for support and know he/she will meet that need? It is wonderful to know that you may bear your soul, and you will not leave feeling unsupported or uncared for. But what if you don’t have this within your marriage? What happens when you come to your spouse with a burden, and he/she (versus they) don’t make time for you?
What do you do? You speak the Truth in Love to your spouse.
Choose a good time to share with your spouse. You want to be honest with your spouse, but you want to be sure not to speak out of anger. Take some time with The Lord before this conversation with your spouse and ask Him to give you a heart of tenderness towards your spouse, then when you feel ready – ask your spouse if you may talk with him/her.
Share your need for support and what that looks like for you. Then, share the time/times that this need was left unmet and how it hurt you. Remember that your spouse is “for you.” They are probably unaware that they left you unsupported and hurt.
We can only have the freedom to bear our burdens with one another when we are open and honest. At times, this may come with a difficult – but needed – conversation with your spouse, done in love. Down the road, you will be so thankful you did, as you begin to meet one another’s needs in ways that speak specifically to your spouse’s heart.
Date Conversation / Coffee Talk: Plan a Date Night!
- Would you tell me how I can meet your need for support?
- Would you share with me times when you felt support from me?
- Have I ever left you feeling unsupported? (Ask for forgiveness if the answer is yes.)
- Would you share a time when God met your need for support directly?