Approval (Blessing)
Building up or affirming another person, particularly for who they are (as opposed to what they do); affirming both the fact and the importance of our relationship with another person. Ephesians 4:29; Mark 1:11
Leading a study years ago, I was told by an older gentleman that he had not paid any attention at all regarding meeting any of the 10 needs we are addressing in the 52 Week Plan. He seemed very despondent. So, I asked him if he would be willing to go to his 3 grown sons and let them know that he loved them all along, but he had not known how to connect to them at a heart level. I think those men would be thrilled that their Dad admitted wrong, expressed approval, and committed to love them even better in the future. What do you think would happen?
A Worthy Goal:
Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage until your children and friends envy your relationship and want one like it.
Be intentional about setting aside a few minutes this week or planning a date night to discuss Approval together
Husband, would you lead this time by reviewing the statements to be completed or questions being asked so that you know how to make the most of your time? When you are ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time with your wife.
LOVE (Speak) —
- When you think about your spouse, are there qualities you can identify that illustrate his/her good character traits? (diligence, initiative, contentment, honesty, work ethic, preparedness, leadership, compassion, etc?…need more? See pages 266-268 in IE Workbook.
- In what areas of your life does approval mean the most to you? Your marriage? Your work? Your family of origin? A skill? A relationship? Whose approval means the most to you?
- Are you and your spouse different concerning which approving relationships/environments are most important? Thoughts?
- Describe a situation when your spouse or other friend publicly praised or complimented you for your character. What did that do for your feelings toward him/her? Have you done that for your spouse?
- When growing up, how was approval communicated in your home? Was any of the approval you received contingent upon behavior or performance? If so, do you feel that was really approval?
What About the Kids? Ask the kids these questions or discuss them as adults revealing what you have observed in your child(ren).
Take a moment:
Please tell your child that you are very glad he/she is in the family and that you are proud to be his/her dad/mom. Make sure it is not linked to something they just did (good or not so good).
You could say it in front of your spouse or your child’s friends. If you say it in front of siblings, please make sure the others have their time of approval in the near future. Just say it and move on after a hug or kiss.
Perhaps you might tell God in prayer how grateful you are to Him for each child and mention an approving sentence about each one. (i.e., “Heavenly Father, I am so thankful Paul is my son and that he shows such calm diligence in leading his family. Thank you that Suzanne is my daughter and for her passion and compassion for her family. Thank you that Jeanne is my daughter and for her faithful determination to follow Your plan for her life.” 🙂