Appreciation
Expressing thanks, praise, or commendation, particularly in recognition of someone’s accomplishments or efforts
I Cor. 11:2, Colossians 3:15b
Jesus welcomed children-was not bothered by them.
Mark 10:14
How long has it been since you looked your spouse in the eye and said how much you appreciate him/her? It may have been last week, yesterday, the last time we discussed appreciation in this tool, or maybe a lot longer than that. Regardless of how long it’s been, let’s take a few minutes to meet your spouse’s need for Appreciation this week.
Please don’t hesitate to let us know if you have any questions or suggestions for us!
The TBI Ministries Team
A Worthy Goal: (a little Support from TBI)
Don’t stop investing wisely into your marriage and family until your children and friends envy your relationship and want what you have…. “faith expressing itself in love” – Galatians 5:6.
Set aside a few minutes this week or plan a date night to discuss Appreciation together.
Husband, would you lead this time? Please be prepared to lead by reviewing the questions below. When ready, please initiate a “LOVE (Speak)” time.
LOVE(Speak)
1. Somewhere along the way this week, would you please say this to your spouse (fill in the blank appropriately):
I may not say it often enough, but I want you to know that I really appreciate ____________________.
Examples: your hard work in keeping this household running, your working hard to make sure our bills are paid and that we have a roof over our heads, your washing my clothes, your keeping our cars serviced, your going to work each day, your listening to me, your willingness to tell me what you are thinking, etc.
2. Using the Ten Needs List, ask your spouse to choose one of the needs that is currently among his/her top 3, then give you a specific way to meet that need this week.
Note: If they choose “Attention”, they may say “I would appreciate it if you could enter my world this week by taking over a role that I usually have to perform.” Or if they choose Security, they may say, “I would appreciate it very much if you could help me feel more secure by praying with me regularly.” When the need is met, make sure you express appreciation to your spouse for being involved in meeting your needs. These are really good habits to form.
3. Take the opportunity this week to tell someone else that you appreciate your spouse. Mention some of the things he/she does.
If appropriate, let your spouse know what you said and to whom you said it. Maybe you could visit or call one or both of your spouse’s parents and tell them what you appreciate about their son/daughter.
4. This may be awkward, but I want you to sit knee to knee with (or across the table from) your spouse, look each other in the eyes, and tell him/her 2 or 3 more things you appreciate about him/her in addition to the answer to #1 above. I guess if you can’t think of other things, you could just say the same thing 3 times…just kidding. 🙂
5. Think of a gift that you believe your spouse will appreciate and leave the gift for him/her in such a way that he/she can’t say anything to you at the time. (Leave a card, letter, package, etc.)
When you are together later that day or during the week, tell your spouse that you gave the gift because you appreciate the fact that she/he is God’s gift to you. When the time and circumstances permit, either aloud or silently pray with your spouse expressing to God how much you appreciate the gift of your spouse.
Application: Do you meet with each other on a regular basis to discuss schedules, finances, etc.? Consider adding this question to the agenda: “Where do you most need my affection today, this coming week (month, etc.)?”
What About the Kids? Ask – Listen – Respond
1. When your children of focus do something to help or complete an assigned task, make sure you tell them “thank you” or “I appreciate your help.” Even if they didn’t do a perfect job, please let them know you appreciate their effort. Thank you for doing this!
2. Would you please model appreciation by thanking each other publicly as parents for help given or offered. “Please” and “thank you” may sound old fashioned but those words can convey a great deal of appreciation in the way we ask and respond to the things others do for us. And, thank you for taking time!