Encouragement: Urging to persist and persevere in their efforts to attain their goals; stimulating others toward love and good deeds. (1 Thessalonians 5:11, Hebrews 10:24)
Does your spouse know that no matter what he/she is attempting to achieve, that you are on the sidelines just cheering away? OK, I know there are some exceptions as in something illegal or immoral or unethical….., but I am talking about the good stuff, the work goals, the attempts to be better, do better, make progress, achieve a goal. That is the stuff I mean.
Picture it with me….you are going through something difficult or stepping out in something new and your spouse is right there with you! He/She gives you smiles, hugs, prayer, words of encouragement, a pat on the back, a special nod or look …you know you feel the encouragement of your spouse in what you are about to do. It is amazing, isn’t it?
What if you didn’t have that urging or encouragement from your spouse and had to only imagine or hope one day that you’d get it? It would be discouraging for sure, and you would most likely feel alone.
What keeps you from being your spouse’s biggest encourager? Or, maybe you are an encourager but you do not receive encouragement back…what then???
Do you know there are verbal and nonverbal strokes of encouragement? Did you know that your heavenly Father looks to encourage and strengthen you even if other’s don’t, won’t or do not know how?
Let’s look into these questions together!
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Experience Encouragement
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:12) Walking in the Light: Having a fresh encounter with Jesus. (Encouragement)
Did Jesus give encouragement? Let’s take a look:
Jesus spoke words of encouragement in: Acts 23:1-11, Matthew 9:2 Matthew 14:27 Mark 6:5 John 16:33 Mark 10: 49
Encouraging words as “TAKE COURAGE”: To Paul, to the paralytic, to the disciples, the blind beggar. These words coming from Jesus must have been a huge encouragement. If Jesus tells us to “take courage” we can believe and count on it that we can! Does Jesus just encourage people in the first century such as Paul, the blind beggar, the paralytic, the disciples? As His child and a follower doesn’t that make you a disciple too? Ever asked for encouragement from God and got it?
Jesus was in the habit of encouraging others often, especially those close to Him. Jesus exemplifies what our soft words can do in another’s heart. In times of fear, anxiety, despair or sadness our words of encouragement can bring healing to a person/spouse’s soul.
Our words are called verbal strokes, but nonverbal strokes are just as important. Aren’t you keenly aware of other people’s body language? This is the language we can read through a person’s movements or facial expressions. Often we speak more truth with body language than the words coming out of our mouth.
We can say so much to our spouse by a soft touch on the shoulder as we pass by or a kind, loving look on our face from across a room. Body language, nonverbal encouragement, can be related to our spouse at almost anytime. We could be in a crowded, loud room, and we can still communicate encouragement to our spouse without a spoken word!
Would you ask God to recall to your memory the times He said to you, “Take courage?” Would you thank Him for those times! Think about where you might have gone in the circumstance if Jesus didn’t step in and give you encouragement. I,(Dave) recall a time when my most important relationship was on the line. In prayer I asked God for help and then listened. I responded to a prompting from Holy Spirit, and honestly, my life began then and continues to this day based on His encouragement and command.
Would you then be imitators of God (Eph 5:1) and be an encouragement to your spouse ? Ask God to show you opportunities to build up your spouse!
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a lamp and a light, so walk in the light of frequent experiences of doing His Word. Psalm 119: 105
Let’s do: 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (ESV) Therefore encourage one another and build one another up, just as you are doing.
For me one of the greatest visual examples of encouragement would be of someone in a race. Let me say this…I don’t run! If I had to run for my life, well let’s just say I wouldn’t make it! Hahaha… I have seen runners though, sweaty, can hardly breathe, barely making it to the next leg of the race….their bodies seem to have no more to give at a certain point. But wait…their friends and family cheer them on as they pass! As they receive the cheers and encouragement, they dig deeper and find more within themselves to make it! It is pretty amazing what encouragement will do!
Though we may not all be runners, thank the Lord…haha…, we may be at a place in our lives where we need to hear those cheers and words of encouragement from the sidelines to help us dig a little deeper. The encouragement of a spouse may just be the thing we need to finish well instead of collapsing.
Let’s practice building our spouse up each day! If you are an encourager to your spouse but feel you need more encouragement from them, please say so! In love say, “Honey, I am going through a really difficult time right now, I would love to feel more of your encouragement. When you encourage me I feel an extra boost to put me up and over the top of my circumstance. I really value your encouraging words!” I know this may not be your normal conversation, but think about it….your spouse will not know what you need unless you tell him/her. If we don’t communicate our need for encouragement, how will our spouse ever know how to meet that need?
Maybe you need to ask God to show you what keeps you from being an encourager to your spouse? Maybe it was never exemplified for you growing up, or you were taught to not need anyone else. Your spouse may be asking for encouragement, but you just don’t know how to give it. Ask God to reveal the “why” and ask Him to heal it. If you need help working through this please let us know!
Light Source #3: God’s people are sources of light so walk in real fellowship with your spouse and/or a trusted friend: “the light of the world.” Matthew 5:14
In most circumstances, if you imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes you can treat others as you would want to be treated. (Luke 6:31) With encouragement, I feel this “Golden Rule” rings true.
If you see or know something is bringing your spouse down, ask them about it? Come alongside them, put your arms around them, and tell them you noticed something just isn’t right about them. Ask them if they are going through something and to tell you about it. Ask them how you can pray for them and do it right on the spot! Slip encouraging notes into their lunch bag or on the bathroom mirror in the morning. Pray for them privately and alongside them, as well. Walk alongside of them through the whole circumstance, whatever it is.
Your encouragement will make them feel loved and not alone. Wouldn’t you want to feel that way? You love your spouse…let him/her know that out loud during difficult or stressful times, and make it a habit to be encouraging in little things as well as in the big things!