Approval for Those Outside the Faith Caring for the Lost and Alone (GC2 Circles – Circles 1 and 5)
Approval (Blessing) – Building up or affirming another person, particularly for who they are (as opposed to what they do); affirming both the fact and the importance of our relationship with another person. (Ephesians 4:29; Mark 1:11)
Most of the time hard-hit ground balls hit to third base off the bat of a good hitter are stopped in a ball glove. A good third baseman fields the ball and fires it across the diamond to the first baseman. “You’re out!” is what you hope to hear from the umpire. Well, this day was not “a most of the time” day!
Just before the blazing grounder reached my glove, it hit something on the ground and jumped off its clearly destined path – not into my glove but into my right eye. OK, not exactly into my eye. It traveled through my glasses’ lens first, shattered it, and pressed shards of glass into my eyebrow and eyeball. Lots of blood, a freaking-out younger brother, a coach driving me to the doc’s office, stitches from “Rowdy” the nurse, a few hours later, I found myself at home safe and sound. Well, maybe not so sound, because I was – for many years after that – not only afraid of the ball when I was batting, but also now in a place where I used to shine as a fielder. Now I was a third-baseman, who could not keep his head in the play and eye on the ball. I was now a liability both at the plate and on third base. And of all things, during my first attempt at playing outfield, some guy hit a home-run right over my head, and I fell down back-peddling my way to attempt to catch it. Had I not fallen, I may have actually been able to catch it or at least keep it in play.
Needless to say, my baseball playing days were numbered. Nobody asked me to quit. I decided it all by myself because nobody offered an alternative – as I recall. I concluded that I had no value to the team, to the coaches, or anyone on the team. I wasn’t good enough.
How many people are waiting for someone to declare in some indisputable way, “You are worth it and wanted and valued even if you don’t always do stuff that makes you a star?”
What Do You Think? I am convinced that many, perhaps most, people in this world are secretly, desperately, and perhaps unwittingly looking for someone to Approve of them. We really want someone to communicate to us in clear terms that we matter; we add value to the relationship; and that value is not just based on our excellent performance. The “value added” is not a tax but a gift that communicates “someone loves us and wants us around just because we are a human being breathing God’s air and worth being known”. Of course, you recognized that I shifted from baseball to a more serious game – life itself.
Before we go any further, would you decide if you agree with the above paragraph? If you don’t see some merit in the concepts in those few sentences, I don’t know that reading the rest of this will make much sense or add value to your day.
This week in the 52 Week Plan we are addressing this concept: Jesus let people know they Belonged with Him and they had value even before they Believed He was Messiah or Behaved as a disciple.
What is at stake for people in our community, who do not consider themselves followers of Christ, if we who are Christians don’t learn to show Jesus’ caring, truthful heart in the clarity He commanded?
Another way of asking that question is as follows: Does it make any difference at all for the eternity of the lost and alone of this world whether I love as Jesus empowered me to love and help people know their value even before they believe Jesus is Messiah?
WALKING IN THE LIGHT IS THE KEY! Lord Jesus made it clear: “…Walk in the light while you can, so the darkness will not overtake you.” (John 12:35) John spoke, “But if we walk in the light, as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus His Son cleanses us from all sin.” (I John 1:7)
Truth is, there are way too many people walking in the darkness and even overcome by it because they don’t know about the Light of Jesus. Let’s walk in His light and love as He loves so more people can come into the Light of Jesus as we shine in this dark world.
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Equip Us to Offer Approval for Outsiders
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:32) Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Approval)
Let’s Walk in the Light of Fresh Encounters with Jesus
Jesus actually showed Approval to people before they were disciples. Think of Matthew (Levi). He was a tax-collector. That behavior earned him the cold shoulder and hot stares of many of his countrymen. But not from Jesus! Remember? (Read Matthew 9:9-13)
As you read this passage, let yourself feel what Jesus felt for Matthew, or try to see Jesus’ call to Levi not as condoning the tax-gatherer’s behavior but communicating Matthew’s value. Jesus saw value in Matthew and wanted to establish a relationship with him even before Matthew believed or even behaved as a disciple.
In what unhealthy, even sinful behaviors were you engaged when Jesus found you? Did He ask you to stop doing a specific behavior before the Father called you to believe in Jesus? Perhaps you did stop doing something or begin believing the truth, but I know this “while we were still sinners, Christ died for the ungodly”. (Romans 5:8)
You may have changed dramatically after spending years away from God, and I hope you have. But at the time of His drawing you into a loving relationship with Jesus, did Jesus wait for you to completely change or did He let you know He wanted a relationship with you even before you changed?
Ladies and gentlemen, that is one very important aspect of Approval.
How long has it been since you thanked God for letting you Belong to Him even before you felt you had earned His approval? Neither you nor I could ever have earned God’s approval or forgiveness or mercy or grace or love or invitation to be family.
Think of the wonder that must have come to Matthew, a tax collector, after Jesus not only called him to follow but also went to his home for a celebration meal with a bunch of Matthew’s friends. Now, think of the wonder that should and will flood your heart to realize that same love and grace has been extended to us, as Jesus called us to belong to His family “even while we were sinners”.
You don’t have to be the best infielder or outfielder or even the best hitter in the league. Jesus invited or now invites you to be with Him as a valued member of His family….forever!
Join the team if you have not yet enlisted! Jesus wants us on His team regardless of your skill level. He’ll take responsibility to coach you up to professional skills and use many other players along the way.
Batter Up!
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a “Lamp and Light” (Psalm 119:105) Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Approval)
Let’s Do: John 13:34-35 34) “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35) By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”
Jesus was speaking to His disciples in the Upper Room just before being betrayed. He told them He was going away and where He was going they could not come. He told them the new commandment (verses 34 and 35). But it seems Peter missed it. Peter went back to Jesus’ statement about leaving and didn’t even comment on Jesus’ New Commandment.
I know there is much talk today about the world in crisis, Christ’s return, and the end of time; but let’s take time to do now what Jesus told His disciples to do then. Let’s love “one another as He loved us”.
I want to turn our attention to loving those “outside the family of faith” – to those who may not yet believe or behave but need to know they belong . Those who don’t yet trust Christ might be more excited about getting to know Him and believing on Him as we, His Followers, show that we are committed and privileged to love and approve them.
Let’s get this straight right now: I am not asking you or anyone to turn a blind eye to a person’s sin. I want us to do for others what Jesus did for Zacchaeus in Luke 19. Jesus looked beyond Zac’s deed and saw his need. Call it respect, support, encouragement, or approval, but whatever you call it, Jesus let Zacchaeus know his (Zac’s) value as a person regardless of his behavior or belief.
Jesus went to Zacc’s house for a meal. Doing such a thing and choosing to go to Zacc’s rather than to the home of one of the religious leaders set the stage for more criticism of Jesus from the leaders. They called Jesus a “friend of sinners”.
To whom can you communicate value even though they don’t behave or believe as you know they should? Could you reach out to a wayward family member, co-worker, boss, or employee? Do you have a neighbor or family that you could somehow communicate that you want to know them or that you care about them even though they may not want or accept your initiative?
I have been attempting to do this with a member of my extended family. By the way, I am not and neither should you, look for a “pat on the back”. Jesus loves me and gives me the chance to reach out to others with His love. “We love because He loved us first.” I want this person to know he/she has real value to God and to me. I want him/her to know that I would like to know him/her. I value the opportunity to have a relationship that starts here and never ends. I want him/her to come to Jesus along with all his family and future family.
As I write my next card to this person, I am thinking about what I have observed. This next card will commend some character qualities I have seen. I don’t know if they are still qualities being lived, but I know I saw them in times past.
What would it have meant to you if someone took the time to commend you or to see value in your life in a time when you didn’t feel you had any?
What it would have meant to me if someone tried to convince me that I could come back from the injury and overcome the fear.
What did it mean to Zacchaeus for Jesus to let him know he Belonged even before he Behaved well or Believed correctly? Well, if you have not done so, read Luke 19 and discover what happened.
Light Source #3: Followers of Jesus are called the “Light of the World” (Matt 5:14) Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Approval)
Let’s Walk in the Light of Fellowship with Believers
Find a Journey Partner The person God is leading you to Approve may not be able to share any of this with you during the process. He or she may not be a follower of Jesus or may simply not be in a position for you to discover their relationship with God. In light of that, would you invite your spouse, older children of focus, or other Christ-follower friend to pray with you through this journey?
1. Get together with the Journey Partner and pray for God’s wisdom and love so that the overtures you make into the life of your person/family of focus will be accepted and welcomed…sooner rather than later.
2. If you don’t know exactly what to do to begin, discuss and pray with your Journey Partner, then decide how to proceed. The pattern we see is Prayer – Care – Share.
3. After prayer, ask God to reveal things to commend. When it is time, note the qualities you see with a card, a visit across the backyard fence, a text, or going out to coffee. Perhaps you could have the family over after going to a good movie. Sometime during the conversation you might say, “Tom, I was watching you play outside with your son. You were taking time with him, and I know that means a lot to him. You are a good dad.” Or, “Patty, you are such a hard worker. This store would just not be the same place if you were not working here with us. Thank you for being so diligent.”
4. Pray with your family about the person/family of focus and continue to practice Approval at home, as you are watching for ways to show Approval to others. Remember that we are working on Circle 5 as we “practice what we preach” in Circles 1, 2, 3, and 4.
5. Don’t forget to thank God for Approving of you and valuing your relationship with Him. Remember Colossians 1:22? Jesus has made all this possible and keeps us by His power. 2 Timothy 1:12
Equipping Others: If the staff / leaders are interested in beginning marriage ministry or strengthening existing relational ministry, we at TBI would be happy to discuss that process and prayerfully consider partnering with your congregation. Our goal is not simply to change the reputation of the church, but it is to equip and help free the body of Christ to simply, powerfully love one another…starting at the house and continuing into the household of faith. A love-filled reputation is the one Jesus said we are to shine into the world to let everyone know we are His disciples. I can’t think of a better time to start than now!
Top 10 Relational Needs* (examples in scripture)
Acceptance – Receiving others willingly and unconditionally (even when their behavior has been imperfect) and loving them in spite of any differences that may exist between you. (Romans 15:7)
Affection – Expressing care and closeness through physical touch and through words such as “I love you” or “I care about you.” (Romans 16:16) (Mark 10:16)
Appreciation – Expressing thanks, praise or commendation, particularly in recognition of someone’s accomplishments or efforts. Gratefully acknowledging what someone “does.” (Colossians 3:15b; 1 Corinthians 11:2)
Approval (Blessing) – Building up or affirming another person, particularly for who they are (as opposed to what they do); affirming both the fact and the importance of our relationship with another person.( Ephesians 4:29; Mark 1:11)
Attention – Conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care; taking notice of others and making an effort to enter into their respective worlds. (1 Corinthians 12:25 NASB)
Comfort – Caringly responding to a hurting person through words, actions, emotional responses, and physical touch; hurting with and for others in the midst of their grief or pain. (Romans 12: 15 NASB; Matthew 5:4: 2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
Encouragement – Urging others to persist and persevere in their efforts to attain their goals; stimulating others toward love and good deeds. (1Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 10:24)
Respect – Valuing one another highly, treating one another as important, and honoring one another with our words and actions. (Romans 12:10; 1 Peter 2:17)
Security – (Peace) Establishing and maintaining harmony in our relationships and providing freedom from fear or threat of harm through expressions of vulnerability, deepening of trust, and the successful resolution of conflict. (Romans 12:16,18)
Support – Coming along side others and providing gentle, appropriate assistance with a problem or struggle. (Galatians 6:2)