I Woke Up Soaked with Sweat!
No, really, that hasn’t happened to me all that often, but this time, approximately 24 years ago, was freaky and more realistic than usual. When my thoughts began to settle and I realized I wasn’t suspended from the tall bridge over the Mississippi River on the border of Missouri and Illinois, my heart rate returned to normal, and I removed my wet t-shirt as I lay back down to try and go to sleep again.
In the dream, the family car that I was driving broke down near the top of the huge bridge far above the river. The bridge was old and decaying to the point that I could see holes in the concrete surface and rebar was exposed. I could see through the holes to the river far below. What happened next (in the dream) was even more strange. I opened the door and got out so that I could go find help. No other cars were on the bridge, so the probable next step for me would be to walk down the bridge’s concrete road surface to find help for my family. That’s not what I did (in the dream). I climbed over the guard rail fully exposed to the river below and began climbing down the steel beams, as I would dismount a set of monkey bars/jungle gym on a playground. After only a few treacherous descending moves, I lost my grip and began to plunge in a free fall toward the river.
As in other dreams where death was imminent, I did not hit the water or drown. I woke up with a start and tried to gather my wits about me – realizing it was all a dream. Man, was I glad!
That wasn’t the end of the story. After that night any time I was driving and approached a bridge of any significant height, I began to panic – hands sweaty, heart racing, feeling faint. Oh, yeah. These events were not dreams but 3-D reality and in real time. I don’t know that I have ever had a real panic attack, but I think these responses approximated one. In order to keep from focusing on my fears and perhaps blacking out behind the wheel, I would make a phone call, quickly begin to talk to anyone in the car, or use other tricks to take my mind off the height of the bridge and onto something like music, counting, – anything to get me over the bridge. Hey, I even changed routes to avoid bridges I knew were coming up, driving miles out of the way. Sound weird? It was!
Eventually, I found comfort in knowing that I wasn’t the only grown man who freaked out when crossing tall bridges. It “helped “ to know that, but it didn’t help me fight off the fear. Then I came across I John 4:18 – There is no fear in love. But perfect loves drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
Then verse 19 of I John 4 states: We love because he first loved us.
I used a new weapon against my fear, or I should say, I use a new weapon against my fear. Since God led me to this truth, I simply focus on how much my Father loves me and the truth that He is sovereign. He is not mad at me nor is He looking to punish me for my wrongs. He determines the outcomes of my life. He loves me and proved (still does) it long ago. His perfect love casts out my fears. Once in a while, I have to battle fear again.
So many circumstances and events bring us to a point of fear. Unless we immerse our thoughts and emotions under the river of truth and love flowing from Jesus, we will most certainly be overcome by our fears. We can cover our fears for a while under a substance or scheme, but Jesus wants to remove them or get us to a place where we know exactly what to do when fears or temptations come around again. Didn’t Jesus say that the “water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life”?
I have discovered that our Savior Jesus Christ has come to live in us by Holy Spirit, who is not limited by a physical body but can bring life to every person who trusts Jesus Christ for forgiveness. Holy Spirit of God gives us the power to live an abundant life overcoming fears along the way. You may already know this, but overcoming fears and resisting temptations require similar battle plans!
Anything freaking you out these days? Anything keeping you up at night, awakening you from sleep, troubling your thoughts and robbing you of peace? My suggestion is to fight it with the correct weapons. Fight with God’s truth. Talk to someone who can point you to God’s truth about what is destructively owning your thoughts. Use God’s truth and experience His love – from Him directly or through a friend who knows God’s truth and love personally. Let them help you walk out of your fears into God’s love and into a new level of faith that can safely deliver you over any bridge in life – concrete and steel – thoughts and emotions – fear and temptations – principalities and powers.
When I actually chose to drive over the largest bridge in the Tampa / Clearwater / St. Petersburg area some years ago, knowing I could have chosen to go another way, I had a huge blessing and revelation. At the top of the Sunshine Skyway Bridge as I looked over the surrounding bay waters and coast line, I realized what my fears had caused me to miss. I had missed the beauty all around me.
How many times have my fears of failure or of people (or my being overcome by temptation and sin) kept me from experiencing the beauty of God’s work in my life, in seeing someone come to faith, or seeing a couple’s relationship healed, or of experiencing the satisfaction that I did a hard thing that God had directed me to do? By His grace I will miss far fewer of those blessings in the future, as I face each fear and test, knowing how loved I truly am.
Would you talk to a friend (spouse, co-worker, buddy) about times when you have been afraid or when you could have been (should have been) but weren’t? What was the blessing when you overcame it? What was the loss when you were overcome by it – fear or temptation?