Were you ever in a group of people in the middle of telling a story, when all of a sudden someone steals the conversation and you are left mumbling to yourself as your conversation trails off – never to come back around to you. I don’t know about you, but when that happens to me, I feel unimportant and slightly embarrassed. For most, you may just let it go and move on, but what happens when someone close to you- a spouse, close friend or family member -does that? How does that make you feel then – the same, unimportant and slightly embarrassed. Hurt is added on top of those feelings too, right?
The depth of the relationship is what makes the difference between the two scenarios above. In a circle of acquaintances, hurt may be present, but it is not felt as deeply as when the relationship is a close one. You certainly hope for more respect, sensitivity to your needs, love, and understanding. The closer the relationship, the higher the risk is for hurt and disappointment, but the greater potential for joy and intimacy!
When we experience hurt, it is because a need has gone unmet. What do we do with that hurt? If we bury it, it will steep in anger and resentment until it boils over. But if we ask God to take our hurt, trust Him to “fix” the offender in His time, we can have peace and HIS love and comfort. Not easy , I understand, but with practice this can become a way for you to have a closer relationship with The Father and probably with others too.
Imagine if you didn’t nag your spouse or “pounce on” a loved one again and again about how he/she could be/do better! What if you just loved him/her unconditionally and left that stuff to God!? Mind blowing, I know! Imagine your loved ones reaction to, well….no reaction?
Now this doesn’t mean you don’t share your hurt, but remember to do it in love with the knowledge that you can’t change him/her. You don’t have that kind of power! Only God does. Tell your loved one your hurt and heart and then rest it in the arms of Jesus to sort it all out. Interesting concept! May take practice! Will take practice!
- Think of a time Jesus could have raked the disciples over the coals because of their bad choices…again. How did Jesus respond to Peter after Peter denied Him three times? (John 21:15-25). Read the grace and mercy shown.
- Try learning 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 and apply it to the disappointment you feel when others fail to care or show you love and respect.
- Tell a friend how God has comforted and helped you when you were left alone and hurting? (No names are needed as you tell the story. We don’t want this to turn into gossip or belittling others. K?)