Acceptance: Receiving others willingly and unconditionally (even when their behavior has been imperfect) and loving them in spite of any differences that may exist between you. (Romans 15:7)
How do you know if acceptance is one of your top needs? Answer these questions below:
- Is it important that others receive you for who you are, not what you do, even if you are a little different from them?
- When you fail, is it important that you feel reassurance from others and still feel loved?
- When in a crowd, do you look for someone/group that you can connect with?
- Does it bother you to see another person not being included because they may dress or be a little different than others?
- Is it important for you to feel part of a group?
Can you relate to the scenarios in these questions? If so, you may have a high need for acceptance. All have a need for acceptance, at least at times in life, but if you answered “ yes ” to these questions , that is a good indication acceptance is a high priority need for you. – at least currently.
If acceptance is one of your top needs, as it is mine, I often feel a little embarrassed to have this need, but let me try and give your heart peace about having this need if you feel as I do. Can you look back into your childhood? Was it possible that you only felt acceptance if you performed or achieved in a certain way? Maybe you were bullied in school or heard negative things directed toward you from your parents or significant others .
Sit down with the Lord and write out feelings you have had as a child. Did you miss acceptance? I did too. It makes sense that this is a need of yours because it wasn’t met as a child.
My son was bullied in middle school. He was home-schooled up to middle school, and Pre-middle school he was always the “leader of the pack” with his friends. Sadly, he was bullied to the point that even to this day, he has a very high need for acceptance because bullying made him doubt how he felt about himself. Bullying made him question if he was even “acceptable!”
May I share a positive side to his middle school experience? The feelings of not being “acceptable” turned his heart towards helping others and reaching out to those that may seem a little different. He is now a police officer and has opportunities to treat those he arrests with dignity and respect to the point he has had many thank him for how he treated them! He sees through eyes of his need for acceptance to help others feel accepted. I am one proud momma.
God can use a painful time like my son went through in middle school and turn it around to be used for His Glorious purpose! He can do the same for you!
- Would you think about times that Jesus took a role in an “unaccepted” person’s life and turned it into glory to God and blessings to the person and/or others? Zacchaeus, Woman at the well, raising Lazarus or the widow’s son or Jairus’ daughter? Consider how Jesus was unaccepted by so many but brought great honor to the Father and eternal life to you and me! He is Risen!
- Let’s Do the Book: “Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” Romans 15:7 Who in your life needs to know that you (someone / anyone) have (has) a positive favorable response to them even when their behavior isn’t perfect or they are “different “?
- Speak with a friend inside your family or outside it and ask “Would you tell me about a time you felt rejected by others or unacceptable? Would you tell me about a time you showed acceptance to another person who needed that kindness?