I love the thought of my spouse defending or guarding me and being a cover and shield over me, as a part of God’s covering and protection! (Psalm 91:4)
Special: (P) Protected
How did you do last week practicing meeting your spouse’s need for Security? Did you ask them to share their worries with you? What did you learn? Did you ask them to share anything that led them to feel insecure in the marriage? Were you able to practice removing those insecurities through the week? Did you discover this week what leads your husband/wife to feeling SECURE and were you able to help meet that need? We hope you did! Here is what one couple shared with us about their week!
“I discovered that my wife was feeling some anxiety regarding our housing situation – do we stay, do we move, do we build? We talked and prayed about God’s direction and found relief from the anxiety as we “cast our cares on Him” because “He cares for us”.
This week our focus is on the “P” in SPECIAL. “P” for PROTECTED The definition for PROTECTED is: to defend or guard from attack, invasion, loss, annoyance, insult, etc.; cover or shield from injury or danger.
This can be a dangerous, unsafe, even frightening world, can’t it? And although I cannot protect my spouse and family from every form of harm, but I can be part of God’s protection over them. I can discover ways to help them feel protected as I learn not to be one adding to their fears. I can be a safe person and one my family can know “has their back, front, and both sides”!
I love the thought of my spouse defending or guarding me and being a cover and shield over me, as a part of God’s covering and protection! (Psalm 91:4)
When you feel the need to be protected it is usually stirred up by a feeling of vulnerability. When you feel vulnerable about something/someone you feel the need to be defended, guarded, or sheltered, don’t you? Where are your vulnerabilities? Would you and your spouse discuss what stirs your need to be protected by sharing the areas where you feel vulnerable?
This may help you get that discussion going. (Again, we realize these are deep conversations but isn’t that the place you want to go with your spouse? Who else better to understand and minister to those vulnerable areas in your heart?) Just as last week, begin the week by discussing the questions below so you may know how to meet this need for protection in your spouse through the week.
- Ask: Would you share with me what overwhelms you? (lack of finances, busy schedule, current state of our country, tension in our family, tense political atmosphere. etc…)
- Ask: Would you tell me any areas you feel concerned about in our family? (raising the children, not enough alone time, no time for each other, lack of money, arguments in front of the kids etc..)
- Ask: Would you tell me ways that I can help you to feel I am your safe place since I want to PROTECT you where I can? What would that look like for you?
Example: Your spouse may share an area of vulnerability with you maybe stress at work. You can then ask him/her to share some ways you can make the home environment feel like a place of refuge when returning home from work. Another example: Maybe your spouse can’t seem to find any time just to think or pray and simply needs some alone time. Ask how you can help create that space for a few hours? Another example: Perhaps your spouse feels that your home environment is not a safe place because the level of tension in the marriage or as a parent sometimes makes for an unsafe feeling for you and your children. Do you need help to bring peace to your home?
- Would you share with me personal areas in which you feel vulnerable? I would like to help you feel less vulnerable. (Struggle with weight, faith, absence of close friends, doubts, insecurity brought on by unexpected change in a relationship, etc)
That should give you a great start for your conversation.
You may also ask similar question to your kids. Children often feel vulnerable. They may have many fears and concerns from things like the “boogie man” to being bullied at school. Sit with them. Ask them heart to heart about what makes them feel afraid or worried Try to focus on ways you can help them feel protected from or less fearful of the things they share with you. Be their safe place.
P: PROTECTED
The Key to Protection: Is being a safe place. A refuge and shelter where they can come and be supported.
Don’t forget to practice being that safe place for your spouse and children this week! As always we are here to help! Maybe you would like to share what you are experiencing.
We pray you will communicate to your spouse and family, “YOU ARE SPECIAL AND I WANT TO HELP YOU FEEL SAFE AND PROTECTED”!.