Greetings!
For years as a teacher or youth pastor, I wondered why some of our students chose to go in a direction that was so far afield from the way they had been taught. Over and over again, “acceptance” seemed to be the motivation. Of course, they had no idea that the brand of acceptance they were being offered was not real but conditional. God’s love for us is revealed in that He does not stop loving us when our behavior is less than perfect. What if we could have a positive, favorable attitude and response even when our spouse fails in some way? Isn’t that exactly how we want to be treated?
Don’t forget to check out the “Q4K” section, offering questions to use as you talk about these relational tools with your kids!
In this email, you’ll find the “Need of the Week”, which highlights one of the Top Ten Relational Needs. Our “LOVE(Speak)” section contains five questions crafted to enhance communication as a couple. We have also included some “Getting Started” suggestions if you need a little direction as you begin.
Please don’t hesitate to let us know if you have any questions or suggestions for us!
The TBI Ministries Team
Getting Started
Be intentional about setting aside a few minutes this week or planning a date night to discuss Acceptance together.
Husband, would you lead this time by reviewing the statements to be completed or questions being asked so that you know how to make the most of your time? When you are ready, please initiate a “LOVE(Speak)” time with your wife.
Need of the Week
Acceptance
Deliberate and ready reception with a favorable positive response, even after failure
Romans 15:7
Jesus accepted Peter even after Peter’s failure. John 21:17
LOVE(Speak)
1. Think of a time when you “messed up” and your spouse reacted with grace and “acceptance”. Did it surprise you? Why or why not? What did that do for your relationship?
2. At what point in your relationship did you start feeling comfortable “just being you”? Did it happen at the same time for both of you?
3. Are there other relationships outside your marriage (at work, volunteering, etc.) where you feel more, or less, accepted than you do at home? Why is that?
4. Are there certain times when it is easier to be more accepting of your spouse? What makes those times different?
5. Are there external influences in your lives that impact your ability to express acceptance to each other?
Q4K
There may be some follow-up questions that need to be asked as you discuss these questions with your child or Child of Focus.
1. Are there times when you feel sad because you have let someone down or disappointed someone? Who? When? Perhaps share an age-appropriate example of a time when you disappointed your parents.
2. Do you know that I will always love you even if you disappoint me, disobey me, or hurt my heart? Regardless of their answer, reassure them that you do love them even after they mess up.
Actions:
1. Reassure each child of your love even after disciplinary action has been taken. Don’t leave them to wonder if you love them. Tell them and demonstrate that it was the behavior you reject, not them personally.
2. Pray with/for your child (children) asking God to help your family show love to each other even after someone breaks a family rule or disappoints others.
3. Discuss as parents the qualities you’d like your child to possess as they grow up and leave home to impact the world.