Just How Much More Complicated Could We Have Made It?

How Many Crayons Did You Have 8?, 16? 48? 64? More? Were they Crayola?

The more crayons the wider the variety of choices, of course, but also the more we had to keep up with. Getting them all out and having to make them fit again was not easy for some of us less organized people. 🙂 Maybe it is true that – to an extent – the less we have to manage the better we can manage what we have. When I think of the relationships I have and the ways I complicated them over the years, I am very grateful God gave me options and tools to simplify my life.

Here’s what I mean:

1. Talking about issues with the person is more apt to bring a solution that simply having inward conversations with myself and not facing the person or the issue. Of course, I always win those inside conversations. My side always seems right, until… (Proverbs 18:17)
2. Addressing the issue sooner rather than later is also wise. I know waiting for an appropriate time and place to talk about real-life issues is prudent, but just as we can talk too quickly, we can wait longer than necessary. Speaking calmly is easier to do at the start of the conversation than after the volume is raised and heart is racing. (James 1:19-20)
3. Setting aside a regular time to have real conversations gives hope to the offended parties that there will be a time to address issues. These times (staff meetings we call them) should be scheduled and protected as our most important appointment of the week. Weekly times are advised. These talks don’t have to be super serious all the time. They can be calendar coordination, praying for each other and the family issues, or planning a date/outing with friends – you get the idea. (Galatians 6:2; Ephesians 4:29-32)
4. Maybe I should have mentioned this first, but using the Top Ten List at the bottom of this and the last several articles will help. In fact, these 10 definitions (one or more) can be the beginning of each planned staff meeting. These terms form a good foundation for better emotional “attunement” or empathy.

I am not naive enough to think the list above is exhaustive, but it contains really valuable foundational pillars to simplifying relationships of all kinds.

Our relationships can be kept healthier, made healthier, and can give us so much more joy if and when we learn to slow down, listen, respond by giving a proper emotional response, and by being willing to hear and understand more than we tend to speak to be understood. Both are important, but listening better seems to be a great place to simplify our lives.

Let’s begin by learning how to listen to God in worship, prayer, the Bible, and by listening to wise friends and advisors in our life. Getting help from God and His people may be just the place to learn to listen and to discover how deep is God’s love. When you and I know how loved we are by our Heavenly Father, we can keep from trying to force our relationships into meeting all our needs. We can actually discover and help meet the needs of others as Jesus’ life illustrated.

Bottom Line: Life is much simpler and more fun more often when we know we are loved, believe it, and give God’s love away as a matter of daily walk with Jesus and others. Start by speaking less and listening more.