Attention Conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care; taking notice of others and making an effort to enter into their respective worlds. (1 Corinthians 12:25 NASB) Attention to my Children/Family
Is your heart ready to experience even more deeply the love God has for your children and for you personally? I hope so.
Hang on, cowboy or cowgirl, this one may be a wonderfully bumpy ride.
During Thanksgiving week I watched our son, son-in-law, daughters, and daughter-in-law while we played and spent hours together as a family. The fathers, mothers, aunts, uncles, cousins, siblings, and we grandparents laughed, talked, listened, and prayed. It was a festival of God’s love on display.
The patience of parents (most of the time), the kindness of children to one another (most of the time), the loving looks between family members (most of the time) were blessings to this dad/granddad’s heart! It really doesn’t get much better than that.
I mean it. Third John, verse 4 states: “I could have no greater joy than to hear that my children are following in the truth.” I am pretty sure the Apostle John was talking primarily about “children” referring to those who came to faith in Jesus through his ministry, but – if John had a family – I can tell you he would have felt the same way or even more deeply if his own children walked with Jesus. In fact, our dearest disciples ARE those of our own family. Aren’t they?
Would you join me this week as we intentionally experience the love of God and allow His love to be “shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit” so our children and Children of Focus are blessed to be purely loved by adults….beginning with or including you and me?
What a wonderful head-start they will have as they experience how to love and know how loved they truly are by our Heavenly Father, when we love them well.
We all need LOVE. We especially need God’s love deeply received into our own heart and given away to others. It IS the “Greatest Thing in the World”
THREE SOURCES OF LIGHT – Help Us Meet the Need of Attention in our Children/Child of Focus
Light Source #1: Jesus is the Light of the World (John 8:32) Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Attention)
Attention – Conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care; taking notice of others and making an effort to enter into their respective worlds. (1 Corinthians 12:25 NASB)
Let’s Walk in the Light of Fresh Encounters with Jesus
Did Jesus pay attention to children? Did He enter their world, convey appropriate interest, care, concern? Did He take notice of children? Answer to each question. YES, a great big YES!
Would you read this passage as an example of Jesus’ attitude toward children? Mark 10:13-16 13) People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. 14) When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. 15) Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” 16) And he took the children in his arms, placed his hands on them and blessed them.
In order to see Jesus as He really is rather than get stuck in the attitude of the disciple, please see yourself in these next moments as the first child Jesus touched, lifted up or held closest to Him. I want you to contrast the looks that must have been on the disciples’ faces as they tried to keep the children from “bothering” Jesus with the loving countenance of the Son of God who stopped “really busy, important adults” from keeping the children away from Him. See the difference? Look at His eyes and see your own image in His dark eyes. Yes, look that closely. Move in closer if needed.
You may be much older than a child’s age or just a bit older. Either way, you are a child. I am a child. We are His children and the “sheep of His pasture”. (Psalm 100) Now, how do you feel about a Savior, who is the Son of God, but in His importance makes you a priority to stop what He is doing to hold and bless you? Heart getting warmer and softer yet? Give Him a minute or more and let Him bring your heart to life with His love so you can be ready to do what we are going to do next.
Answer this for me: How do you think Jesus felt about children when He was with them? How do you think He feels about you now?
His heart is ready for loving His children, and we are in His family by grace through faith!
Light Source #2: God’s Word is a “Lamp and Light” (Psalm 119:105)
Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Attention)
Attention – Conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care; taking notice of others and making an effort to enter into their respective worlds. (1 Corinthians 12:25 NASB)
Let’s Do: Malachi 4:6 a 6) And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children…..
You can read the rest of the verse if you wish, but for now, I want us as Dads and Moms to make sure our hearts are turned to our children.
Would you read over the Ten Relational Needs, below, and have one question in mind as you read over the definitions? Here is the question: “How successfully am I knowing the heart of my son/daughter?” Let’s ask it another way: “How intimately are you familiar with your child’s world?”
Simply rate yourself 0 to 5, where “0” is “I don’t think I am meeting this need at all” to “5” meaning “I am really doing a great job of loving my child by meeting this need”.
Would you pray first as you prepare to go over this list with the evaluation question in mind?
I did this regarding my own children, after learning these Ten Relational Needs and attempting to apply them in marriage. Suddenly one day, it dawned on me. Wait a minute, if I need these things for the health of my own soul, and my spouse needs these for her relational health, I bet my kids need these too. I was right. I wish I had known them at least 17 years earlier than I did so that I could “turn my heart” toward my son much earlier than I did. Oh, don’t get me wrong. I love and loved my son all of his life. What I realized is that I could have loved him much better than I did. My daughters and my son and I have done some good work in these areas. I have evaluated and discovered that I came up short of “turning my heart” to my children in those early days. They forgave me and we have been growing in love ever since. So have my wife and I.
If you dare, take this challenge and see if God wants you to turn “your heart” even more lovingly toward your children.
Light Source #3: Followers of Jesus are called the “Light of the World” (Matt 5:14)
Walking in the Light: Experiencing God’s Love and Giving It Away (Attention)
Attention – Conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care; taking notice of others and making an effort to enter into their respective worlds. (1 Corinthians 12:25 NASB)
Let’s Walk in the Light of Fellowship with Believers
Date Night / Together Time
I am not so sure this will be a good date night discussion but a Together Time is due for sure.
1. If both you and your spouse could do the above evaluation with the Top Ten Relational Needs and the “O to 5” answers for all 10, that would be great. But even if just one of you do it, it will be worth it.
2. If both took the evaluation, discuss your answers to each of the Ten Needs. Do one need at a time. Dad, you go first and let your spouse know what you think you score. Mom, your turn is next. After you have done all Ten Needs, answer the following question: How are we doing at “turning our hearts to our children”?
3. For many of us, our child’s heart will turn to us or return to us as we enter their world and reach their heart with love – God’s love (Romans 5:5) However, there is no guarantee because they are individuals with choices to make. This week I want you to look at your role as a parent and do an even better job of entering the world of your child. What does he/she like to do, like to go, enjoy playing, is he/she good at and likes to show you, invite you into doing, etc. Would you as a couple or with another adult friend talk about how to enter your child’s world? Another way to come to some practical ideas is to answer the following question.
4. What do you wish your father or mother had done with you? How did they enter your world?
5. This may bring out some happy memories and some sad ones. Be ready when your spouse answers to #4. Romans 12:15 says it well, “Rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn.” If he / she is happy, be happy for them/ with them. If they are sad, be sad with them/for them. In these ways you will enter the world of your spouse and make sure he/she is no longer left alone. Does this give you an idea about how to meaningfully enter the world of your child? Has he / she been sad lately? Has he/she been sad lately? Did you enter that world of emotion or did you give advice, a pep talk, ignore it, or were you too busy like those early disciples who did their best to keep the children from Jesus. Don’t keep them from Him. Take them to Him. Listen, love, pray, laugh, show a sadness to let him/her know that what makes them sad also make you sad. What makes him/her happy, makes you happy too.
Top 10 Relational Needs* (examples in scripture)
Acceptance – Receiving others willingly and unconditionally (even when their behavior has been imperfect) and loving them in spite of any differences that may exist between you. (Romans 15:7)
Affection – Expressing care and closeness through physical touch and through words such as “I love you” or “I care about you.” (Romans 16:16) (Mark 10:16)
Appreciation – Expressing thanks, praise or commendation, particularly in recognition of someone’s accomplishments or efforts. Gratefully acknowledging what someone “does.” (Colossians 3:15b; 1 Corinthians 11:2)
Approval (Blessing) – Building up or affirming another person, particularly for who they are (as opposed to what they do); affirming both the fact and the importance of our relationship with another person.( Ephesians 4:29; Mark 1:11)
Attention – Conveying appropriate interest, concern, and care; taking notice of others and making an effort to enter into their respective worlds. (1 Corinthians 12:25 NASB)
Comfort – Caringly responding to a hurting person through words, actions, emotional responses, and physical touch; hurting with and for others in the midst of their grief or pain. (Romans 12: 15 NASB; Matthew 5:4: 2 Corinthians 1:3-4)
Encouragement – Urging others to persist and persevere in their efforts to attain their goals; stimulating others toward love and good deeds. (1Thessalonians 5:11; Hebrews 10:24)
Respect – Valuing one another highly, treating one another as important, and honoring one another with our words and actions. (Romans 12:10; 1 Peter 2:17)
Security – (Peace) Establishing and maintaining harmony in our relationships and providing freedom from fear or threat of harm through expressions of vulnerability, deepening of trust, and the successful resolution of conflict.(Romans 12:16,18)
Support – Coming along side others and providing gentle, appropriate assistance with a problem or struggle. (Galatians 6:2)